A weird, and somewhat morbid thought occurs to me from time to time.
I just think, If this is it, alright.
Its actually something quite positive.
Because it isnt that I dont want to liveI do.
Its not that I dont have a lot of things I really love and enjoy.
Im not tired of life.
Itslagniappeas they say in New Orleansthe rest is just extra.
At 30, this is a wonderful place to be.
Its something I feel quite lucky to be able to say.
For five years now, Ive written a piece forThought Catalogon my birthday.26,27,28,29and now 30.
Usually I reflect on what Ive learned in the last year.
That every day is extra.
1.
Do Ridiculous Things Some of the best decisions of my life came out of total irresponsibility and whim.
Thatd be a funny name for a dog, I thought.
A week later, we had a miniature dachshund puppy.
One of the best things I ever did.Our dog is now ten years old.
Theres no story behindhow we got our first goatexcept that we asked ourselves: Why not?
So we got a goat and had Smittys BBQ on the way home and called it a day.
Not What Will Pay The Most, But What Will Teach Me The Most?
This is how I have evaluated my career and job opportunities (and book projects too).
There are lots of ways to make money, fewer real opportunities to learn.
Quit Dicking Around Thebooks Ive been fortunate enough to writewere not the result of mad sprints of intensity.
I get up every day and work on them.
One right after another.
Basically, Im not dicking around.
30 years is so much time.
One year is so much time.
Wake up every day and do a little more.
Dick around a little less.
The Right Time is Right Now.
Thisis Casey Neistats line.
Let me tell you, it wasnt a tough vetting process.
Its not like getting into Harvard.
If you think you want to do it, do it.
Be in a Long Term Relationship.
Everything but what makes that possible.
Pick a person and be in a relationship already.
Its the best thing you will ever do.
Its a lot of work.
It will be painful and tough at times.
But it is better than the affluenza of Tinder.
And enough with this polyamory nonsense.
Neil Strauss wrotea wonderful book about this, dont waste a decade of your life being an idiot.
Steer Clear of Charlatans and the Toxic Regularfriend purges are a must.
So are influence purges (the sources of information you follow).You become who you know.
You conform to your surroundings.
ensure those two facts are taking you in a direction you want to go.
Keep a Journal Not for looking backward, but to force you to think about what youre doing now.
I should have done this earlier.
I didnt know if it was what I really wanted.
Life is complicated and life decisions are about weighing the odds, not black and white certainties.
Live in New York or Los Angeles (Or a City Like That) …but not for long.
Its good to test yourself in a big city.
Its good to feel the energy of millions of people coursing through your veins.
But leave before you become jaded by it or addicted to it.
Leavebefore it changes your lifestyle.
The Quiet Moments Are The Best There is a line from Lao Tzu.
Peace is in the emptiness.
Emptiness is in the fast of the mind.
Its inthe quiet, still momentsthat we feel what matters in life.
Standing on the shore of a lake.
Looking out over a canyon.
Resting your head against someone elses.
Seeking them out, encouraging them is what makes you feel like youve done plenty.
So he stopped and wrote down his entire coaching philosophy.
Now he has something to measure himself against.
Well, whats yours?
Dont wing it through your 20s.
Make exercise part of your job,part of your duties as a human being.
Let endorphins be something you give yourself every day.
Dont Compare Yourself To Other People Caesarfamously weptat the feet of a statue of Alexander the Great.
Um, you were both fucking terrible.
And now youre both gone.
Who cares whether so-and-so did this or that earlier than you?
Who cares that so-and-so had more?
Sooner Is Not Better I had this idea that I wanted to be a millionaire by 25.
Where this number came from, I dont know.
I made it up,it was ego, and I didnt hit it.
But you know what the difference of getting there a little later was?
No one throws you a party.
Accomplishments dont change who you are.
Meditate on Your Mortality The whole point of this post: Dont shy away from thinking about death.
Think about it a lot.
Ilike Marcuss line: Are you afraid of death because you wont be able to dothisanymore?
For this plug in so much of the crap we waste our time with.
Be Responsible I have a life insurance policy.
I have money saved.
If something happens to me, people I care about will be taken care of.
TheAvocado Toast guywas right.
Idropped out of college(this gave me a two year head start on a lot of people).
Ileft a good job.
I bit off more than I can could chew many times.
The Two Play Off Each Other Why could I take those risks?
Because I had been responsible.
I had money saved.
I knew what was important to me.
I had built a support web link.
I eliminated the tiny risks so I could take the right ones.
I wasnt spinning the How will I pay my bills this month?
wheel like so many people unnecessarily are.
As I said, do the irresponsible thingsbecause it averages out the ultra-responsible choices you made elsewhere.
That would mean zero planning or foresight.
Instead, live like its the last day of before a deployment.
Youd handle your business.
Youd spend time with loved ones.
Youd cherish your alone time.
Thats how you should live day to day.
Travel (With Purpose) Nothing has wasted more millennial time thanthe cult of travelfor its own sake.
So youve been to Africa?
So youve spent a month in hostels in Thailand?
What did you really learn there, that you couldnt have gotten from some other source?
What did you really do?
What was the purpose of any of it?
Wisdom doesnt come from going places.
Not if you, as Emerson said, brought ruins to ruins.
Young people are stupid.
Old people are wise.
Which do you want to be?
A year in New York can be transformative, ten years will ossify you.
Study the Lives of the GreatsRead Plutarch.Read Vasari.
Read Carosbiographies of LBJ.
Not to compare yourself, as I said, but to learn.
Owning a home is having a home.
Its somewhere I want to getback to.The center I revolve around.
I think hes right.
Um, Imvery proud of what I do.
I will be reflecting happily on all of it.
There are many many many more wasteful and regrettable things we do than work.
Dont sell this short.
Drive across the United States No one should die before they have done this.
I havent heard anything from them that Ihavent heard in a book.
Youre looking for shortcuts.
Hallucinogens are to insight what Oxy is to pain relief).
Dont Be A Hater My biggest regret is time I have spentbeing envious or jealousor hating.
Hating doesnt make anyone better.
It only makes you unhappier.
Hate will get you every time.
Life is too short.
The amount of dumb things Ive managed to avoid because I learned the lesson in advance?
Too many to count.
Have a Kid I used to see people in restaurants with kids and sort of pity them.
I was the one being an idiot.
The more value you deliver in life, the most freedom and power you have.
Dont spend precious years of your life in trench warfare or in a stalemate.
Go where there is no competitionseek out the blue oceans.
The best way to do that?Be you.Do only the things you’re free to do.
Know Your Why You haveto know why you do what you dowhat you prize and whats important to you.
Know Whats Enough If you dont know what enough is, then the default answer is always more.
More money, more promotions, more attention.
Its the same thing with time management.
A To-Do List Every Day Every day have a to-do list.
Even on the weekends.
Check the stuff off, dont wing it.
Design The Ideal Day So many people have big goals for the future.
I think its better to know what your perfect day looks like.
I know my ideal day and more importantly, I know when I have gotten too far from it.
Life is too short to not live the way you want.
Learning Is Not Enough Its very easy for learning to go in one ear and out the other.
Making a concerted effort to record and process what youre observing and being taught helps prevent that.
Repeating and reiterating what youve learned helps make connections and improve memory.
Organizing it into a system means it will be so much easier to retrieve when you need it.
I have now made a habit of being prepared in all affairs of life for the worst.
I never lie down at night without reflecting thatyoung as I amI may not live to see another day.
Yet not one of all my acquaintances could say that in my company I am morose or disgruntled.
For this blessing I daily thank my creator.
See you next yearif were both lucky enough to get there!
