Clean break or remain friends?
Rebound or take time to yourself?
Immediately activate your Tinder profile or lie low?
Averie Woodard
Obsessively stalk their social media accounts or block them altogether?
Change their contact name to Fuckboy or delete it altogether?
Text them on their birthday or nah?
The list goes on and on.
It was then that I remember thinking, You dont know who the hell you are.
I go back to this moment often, alone and curled up in the backseat of my car.
How did I gethere?
And how in the hell do I get out?
All I knew was that I needed to figure out who I was.
I knowingly inserted myself into this situation, unashamedly making myself the other woman.
And worse, I didnt care.
So at first, I tried to find myself in other men.
When I went back to school, I started working out and practicing sobriety.
I know right, 21 years old and sober?
Well, I was trying to find myself in a new body.
I guess sometimes they were in mine, but you get the point.
I wish I had thought to serve him with a nice Meredith Grey speech.
You dont get to call me a whore.
I make no apologies for how I chose to prepare what you broke.
I was living life by my own rules.
Ill never look back and call myself a whore.
I was broken and trying to put myself back together, plain and simple.
So, do we really get over someone by getting under someone else?
Or do we do it by shutting the world out and sulking for weeks on end?
Take it day by day.
Figure out what makes you tick and what makes you feel alive.
Because at this point, thats the key: rediscovering who you are and who you want to be.
I had to forgive myself for believing so strongly in something that just wasnt meant to be.
I had to forgive myself for allowing a man to define who I was.
I had to forgive myself for feeling like I wasted so much time in the process.
I had to forgive myself for often knowingly hurting other people in the name of my own healing.
I had to forgive myself for one night stands that only left me feeling hollow.
What I didnothave to forgive myself for was having the courage to move on in the first place.
Even so, its scary as hell to realize that you were wrong about someone or something.
You enter this new state of vulnerability and go out into the unknown.
