You may be tempted to send an I miss you too back.
But if youre feeling the need to resist responding in any capacity, heres some food for thought.
Ive never done well with silence, even if itsthe productive kind.
God & Man
The sensation of skin, the probing conversations, the nights that feel buoyant and right.
I am often the one to un-ghost.
OrIbecome a ghost myself.
Were all guilty of this.
Turn your phone off (or on airplane mode).
Most of us experience ghosting through those pesky metal devices we cart around with us.
Turn your phone entirely off.
Entrust it to a friend, if youre that keen.
Or turn it on airplane mode for the afternoon.
(This is actually a great self-care strategy).
drop off of social media.
The same goes for Facebook or Instagram or SnapChat.
It can also be a funnel for wild emotion.
Resist the impulse to social media stalk or bombard by not giving yourself an option to do these things.
drop off of your accounts, delete the apps temporarily on your phone, clear your system cache.
(You guessed it: this isalsoa fantasticself-care strategy).
Acknowledge and breathe through the emotions.
When someone ghosts me, I step into an emotional panorama.
I am angry, frustrated, keenly sad, disinterested, self-justified.
Identify the emotions you are feeling.
Write them down or say them out loud.
Once youve named your emotions, breathe through them.
But accompany them with deep breathing, drawn up from your belly.
This can also tame any impulse to lash out in a text.
Turn the focus on you.
Giving into that I miss you text doesnt necessarily honor you.
After all, that text is about him:Imiss you.
I am all about you meeting your needs.
Turn the focus on you.
Youve been needing some love these last few days, after all.
Pile on the indulgences.
Let yourself sleep in.
Go to that yoga class youve been dreaming of.
Eat healthy, nourishing food.
Take care of those things on your to-do list that have been nagging for days and weeks.
Finally order thosenew contact lenses.
Book your next annual exam.
Call your dad to see what hes up to.
Send an email to your friend in Bermuda.
Make every action today (and tomorrow) about you.
Have other important conversations.
Im always keen for conversation.
If theres an issue in a relationship, I tackle it with words.
This can be both a good and a bad thing.
You are likely tempted to have that conversation with him about ghosting.
(Or not).
Instead, seek out other important, meaningful conversations.
Talk to your roommates about setting up a regular roommate dinner.
Ask your boss for a raise.
Take the time to prepare a balanced response.
Its very hard to match ghosting with more ghosting.
As I mentioned before, I am initially inspired to do thisbut I dont get very far.
Eventually I have a need to speak.
So, take the time now to prepare a balanced and neutral response.
It may be something as simple as: Its good to hear from you.
Want to meet up for a conversation?
Above all, dont invite a text conversation.
In-person communication is always supreme.
Whatever response you do send, check that that it is from a space of power, not anger.
Move from a space of love.
Whatever you choose to do, tap into your reservoir of innate knowing and profound love.
Moving from this space is always going to be more productive in the long run.
Im not saying he deserves compassion hereIm saying that you do.
Move gently and lovingly.
When you do so, you always find your power.
