Learning how to stop fighting with your partner is a key part of keeping your relationship happy.
Has the frequency and the intensity of your fighting grown over time?
We all have it.
ig: @seteales
We get angry with our mothers, our friends, our bosses, and our kids.
There are ways to get through conflict, however, and it is way easier than one would think.
Carefully choose the time to talk.
venture to wait at least two hours after a disturbance before speaking up.
This will give you the chance to calm down and speak more clearly.
Also, dont pick aknown stressfultime to talk, like during bedtime or just after work.
I know calm time can be hard to find but when properly motivated you might find it.
This is very important and something that many of us do without thinking.
And it gets us nowhere.
Lets say that your partner is always getting home from work late.
Instead of saying, You are always late.
Why do you have to be such a jerk?
try saying It makes me sad when you are always home late from work.
Look carefully at the difference here.
And how you feel is the truth.
What is not the truth is that your partner is a jerk for coming home late.
3. ensure they know you are listening.
Its called a reflective response.
Because if you do that, the issue will come up again, over and over and over.
4. have a go at remember that we are all only human.
We all make mistakes.
Perhaps you wont need the two hours to decompress after all.
Be ready to say sorry and to forgive.
Why dont we want to say we are sorry?
Because it will convey weakness?
Because we cant let go of our anger?
Because we are embarrassed by our actions?
Whatever the reason, we need to learn how to do it.
Next time you are having a disagreement with your partner, try apologizing.
See how quickly the anger deflates on both sides.
That is apologizing not for the lateness but for the pain his wife suffered from it.
In an apology, a BUT makes the apology completely ineffective.
The BUT means you are making an excuse.
The reality is that you caused pain, no matter the reason, and that needs to be acknowledged.
In the same vein, we need to forgive and not hold onto anger.
Holding on to anger is one of the most destructive forces in any relationship.
Conflict, and the resulting anger, with anyone can be devastating and especially so with a partner.
Left unchecked anger can take on a life of its own and destroy everything in its path.
Dont let that happen to you.
attempt to carefully choose your time to talk.
Let them know you are listening and dont hold on to the anger.
And then, perhaps, you might settle down to a nice peaceful, conflict-free evening.
Sounds worth it, no?
