Ive been the girl in relationships that dragged on longer than they should have.
I ignored the obvious signs; opting to fight for something that wasnt worth fighting for.
Because some relationships are worth fighting for; every couple will go through a rough patch.
Daria Shevtsova
So how is it that we differentiate the two?
The Bad Outweighs The Good
Back in college, I was a soldier.
I went to school full-time with an extra class on top of that.
I managed a part-time job that I braved the Los Angeles traffic to get to.
I ran a vegan food blog that required a constant flow of content.
I secretly struggled with an eating disorder.
And I came home every day to anemotionally abusiverelationship.
At the time, I had a lot on my plate.
I could barely balance all my responsibilities and stop to take note of my relationship.
Fights are healthy but too many can become an unhealthy pattern.
Relationships arent meant to be draining.
You shouldnt feel like youre walking on eggshells.
And you sure as hell should be smiling more often than frowning.
So if the bad times outweigh the good, consider if the relationship is healthy and worth continuing.
Needless to say, things didnt last long.
I dont believe couples should have everything in common; that would make for a boring relationship.
Its fun learning about your partners unique interests.
But values extend beyond interests; theyre the beliefs you hold for how you want to live your life.
If your values clash with your partners, chances are things wont work out in the long run.
Ive never been in that position, but its pretty clear why that is.
Do you both want kids?
Do you want to live in the city or the suburbs?
Will one of you be the breadwinner or both?
But eventually, these things need to be discussed.
Her inner voice kept saying leave when she would think about her marriage.
Which prompted the whole premise toEat, Pray, Love.
Feeling trapped isnt healthy.
If youre thinking about leaving and ignore that impulse, its going to cause you a lot of turmoil.
If a relationship is meant to be, you wont be hearing that voice telling you to leave.
Maybe once in a blue moon, but more than once is a sign you shouldnt ignore.
You Often Daydream About Cheating
Theres one thing to have a little office fantasy.
Theres another to have that fantasy every day.
Wanting to cheat is a sign of issues with yourself or in your relationship.
Its not a healthy thing if its often happening.
Then, have a talk with your partner.
Your Significant Other Is Emotionally Abusive
Emotional abuseis as unacceptable as verbal abuse.
In fact, its even more threatening to your well-being because it often goes undetected.
Theres never an excuse for emotional abuse.
And if youre in a relationship with someone who is, your partners issues are deep-rooted.
Its not a simple, one-two fix.
Often, the other person needs therapy and to dive deep into their own traumas.
Thats a nearly impossible feat.
And you deserve your own happiness.
At some point, you have to realize if youre the only one fighting for the relationship.
Its important that your partner wants the relationship as much as you.
