By
Updated 11 months ago,May 29, 2024
I am more than just skin.
About 5 years ago, I battled with mental ill health.
I found myself in a place of darkness.
A word often used to describe a bad day or in place of feeling sad.
I can assure you, its neither of those things.
The truth is depression consumes you.
Why did this happen?
Two words that I could once barely even pronounce.
I had spent 10 months in pain, discomfort, and more invasive examinations then Id like to admit.
10 months of doctors appointments.
10 months of pointless treatments for illnesses I didnt have.
10 months before a diagnosis.
It took 10 months, for me to lose myself.
HS made me hate who I was.
I couldnt look at my skin, or myself in the way that I used to.
At the time, I couldnt see past the ugly.
It destroyed my self-esteem.
I was stuck there for a while.
I struggled with mental ill health for years after.
I still do on occasion.
But something changed in 2020.
In 2020, the world faced a pandemic.
An event that could have so easily sent me back to the shadows, and yet it didnt.
For me, it felt like for the first time in a long time I could finally see clearly.
I had experienced physical pain and discomfort and I had experienced mental pain and discomfort.
I had experienced it all and I was done.
The pandemic gave me the opportunity to invest time in myself.
I found a work life balance that allowed me to focus on my mental and physical health.
I truly prioritised self-care for the first time in, well, forever.
Ive worked hard at getting fitter and healthier.
Ive worked hard at changing my mindset, outlook on life and my thought processes.
The likelihood is, my HS may get worse over time.
Ive grown to accept that.
I now know that its not something I can control, nor can I prevent it from happening.
And if I cannot control it, I will not let it consume me.
I will keep focusing on what I can control.
I will keep prioritising my health.
I will eat nutritional food.
I will do the things that make me happy and say no to the things that dont.
I will surround myself with good people.
I will give my mind the opportunity to speak and I will allow myself to feel.
I will, where possible remain positive because I am more than just skin.
