I spent a big part of my life trying to forget you.
By
Updated 7 years ago,December 8, 2017
Wanting to move on from you.
To heal my broken heart.
Pete Bellis
To truly let you go.
To put you in the past.
To forgive and forget about all the ways you did me wrong.
Pete Bellis
To release all the bitterness and resentment that you left me with.
It seems that all I did was try.
I tried pretending that you didnt exist.
Tried to hate you out of my system.
Tried to meditate away the chaos you brought to my mind.
Tried to forgive how you ruined my life.
And trust me,I know all about moving on and healing.
When it comes to letting go, it is second nature to me.
I have honestly never see any point in continuing a relationship that is beyond saving.
I have been too realistic when I should have been emotional.
I never feel that there is a need to miss someone who is toxic to my well being.
I usually wont feel depressed for a long period of time.
Because I always bounce back.
I always manage to find a silver lining in the most trying days.
Despite how difficult my current reality is, I always believe that there will be better days ahead.
That as long as I never lose hope and my drive to continue living,I will be okay.
No matter what I do, it seems that you are a step ahead of me.
You have moved on effortlessly from me and forgotten cleanly about me.
You have found the love of your life straight away after you ended things with me.
You have continued on with your life better than ever without me by your side.
And that makes me feel worse.
I know healing is not a competition but I cannot help but compare how vastly our lives are.
I cannot help feeling stung by unfairness and wondering why this is happening to me.
I cannot help but miss you more as each day passes me by.
But slowly, I am starting to learn that healing is a continuous stage.
There is no sense in trying to rush it or compare my own process to someone else.
There is no point in harping over the past and obsessing over finding closure.
There is no need to be preoccupied with wanting to forget.
That doesnt mean I want to relive the past and go back to you.
It doesnt mean that I wont be okay by myself.
It may simply mean that Im only human and that I need more time to heal.
And as far as Im concerned, I know I have come a long way since then.
Im slowly healing and I know Im going to be okay.
