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Updated 7 years ago,November 1, 2017
I know that I should love myself.
That I should look in the mirror and like or at leastaccept what I see inside my reflection.
I know that I should keep my standards high because I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
Unsplash / Allan Filipe Santos Dias
I know that Ishouldbe doing these things, feeling these things, but its so damn hard.
It is hard for me to replace self-criticism with self-love.
I am not used to accepting compliments.
To liking the way that I look in pictures.
To smiling with my teeth showing.
To viewing myself as beautiful or even as average.
Unsplash / Allan Filipe Santos Dias
I am used to blending into the background.
To hoping that nobody notices me.
To selling myself short.
To thinking the worst.
I am struggling tolove myselfbecause I have secretlyhated myselffor so long.
I have told self-deprecating jokes about how I am going to die alone.
I have harmed myself emotionally and physically.
I have created a long list of flaws about myself that I cannot stop thinking about.
I have grown used to assuming that I am not attractive enough when another person leaves me.
Assuming that I am not fun enough when another friendship fades away.
In my mind, everything is my fault.
I know that thistoxicmindset needs to change.
I need to learn to love myself the way that my family and my friends love me.
Even if it feels like I am completely unlovable.
I am going to stop countingright swipesandlikes.
I am going to stop thinking so poorly of myself.
I am going to give myself a break.
I am going to slowly learn to love myself.
