She avoids my eyes, though she knows Im staring at her, waiting for a response.
I just think you should probably be careful.
Sometimes you fall too hard.
Twenty20 / tonefreshhh
Because thats what Im supposed to do.
I know shes just being a friend, trying to support, to care, to guide.
But I dont care.
I dont care if I fall too hard, too fast.
I dont care if I make a mess of myself.
If I give the wrong person a chance.
Twenty20 / tonefreshhh
If I step forward into something, believing in its goodness, and end up with nothing at all.
I dont care if Im let down or bruised.
I dont care if I get myheart brokenin the end.
She pulls the car in reverse and I watch the sun dip even lower in the clouds.
The day is almost ending, bringing out the streetlights and warm sweaters of a West coast autumn.
We sit in silence for a moment, the radio turned down low.
I just dont want to see you get hurt again.
I close my eyes at the sound of her voice, immediately thinking back to relationships of my past.
To the man I loved with everything I had, but lost to distance.
To the boy I was too busy trying to fix to seeneither of us were ready.
To the guy who left me with nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth when we parted ways.
To others in-between, but just as painful.
Because every single one of those relationships were real to me.
And I had given them my all.
I take a deep breath.
In the back of my mind, I know shes right, to an extent.
Maybe I should take a stab at be a little less loud, a little more careful.
Maybe I shouldslow downand let love come naturally instead of diving headfirst into it.
But I cant help the way my heart loves.
I cant help that I ignore the warning signs.I cant help that I love to love.
We turn the corner, stop at a red light.
I watch a couple cross the street, hand-in-hand.
I dont care that Ive been confused or mislead, cheated on or left.
I dont care that Ive given feelings that were reciprocated.
I dont care about heartbreakI just want to fall madly.
I want to fall deeply.
I want to fall passionately.
I want to fall with every bone and muscle and cell in my body, willingly and beautifully.
I want to fall crazily.
I want to fall fully.
I just want to fall.
The light turns green and we shift into gear.
I am silent for a moment, separated from the rush.
Acknowledging my space in this car, in this universe.
I look at the stars, take in their brilliance.
The night welcomes a new day, a new start, a new chance to fall.
And I will alwaysalwayschoose to fall.
