I hate that you thought it was okay to waste my time.
You kept me on a string; you strung me along.
I was in your clutch for two years.
christian ferrer
I hate that you thought it was okay to waste my time.
I hate that I let you.
I hate that I let it go on for as long as it did.
I hate that I didnt say no, enough is enough.
You made me think things were going to change and that things would be different.
You manipulated me, my kindness, my naivety, and my lack of boundaries.
You pushed my buttons, and you knew you were doing it.
And now Im left with time I cant get back.
I dont know what I was thinking.
I was out of my mind in love with you for a while.
And then, the more you disappointed me, the less interested I became.
And of course, it was then that your interest in me piqued.
It was toxic and unhealthy.
Even though I was no longer interested, your persistent messages got to me.
I caved in time and time again.
I kept letting you back in.
You were interesting to talk to.
I was lonely, bored, and single.
I wasnt feeling stable enough yet to date, and you came in and preyed on that instability.
I dont know if you will ever be capable of understanding the damage you caused me.
Maybe one day youll see.
I dont know, but I hope so.
I would like to think these things have a way of playing themselves out karmically, energetically.
I dont expect an apology, and I would not accept one anyway.
Your mistreatment of me was not acceptable.
I can forgive, but I cannot forget.
Maybe in 20 years youll see.
Maybe after having a daughter of your own, youll see.
Youll see how your toxic masculinity ruined me.
How damaging it was to my psyche, and to those around me.
Ive let you go once and for all.
I hope in time you will understand but I wont hold my breath or count on it.
