“A shaving-cream can.
By
Updated 8 years ago,August 17, 2017
1.
For your viewing pleasure.
imgur
I had worked years in this small ER to get a story like this.
I couldnt have been happier.
Absurdum22
2.
imgur
A full-size pineapple, leaves first.
chaser0405
3. nz_monday
4.
A dildo shaped like a human arm with the hand in a fist.
Adildoshaped like a human arm with the hand in a fist.
KHASURN
5.
A whole claw hammer.
Not too long ago we had a case where we had to extract a fucking claw hammer.
Not just the handle.
The whole fucking claw hammer.
How the hell do you even work that in?
makeshifted
6.
Nurse herein my time working inemergencyI have seen a guy come in with a light bulb up there.
He was lucky it didnt break or would have caused sever internal bleeding.
You could say it wasnt his brightest idea….
matt12345115
7.
A shattered champagne flute.
A shattered champagne flute…a rosary….Also a Galaxy cellphone battery.
86rpt
8.
A dildo followed by a full bottle of lube, cap unopened.
No biggie, see it all the time.
Of course he had just slipped in the shower on these items accidentally.
Million to one shot doc, million to one!
toto6120
9.
He stuck a cut PVC pipe up his anus and used hooks to fasten it there.
He stuck a cut PVC pipe up his anus and used hooks to fasten it there.
a1b2t
10.
Three pens and two butter knives.
Had a guy come in through the ER complaining of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding.
Originally thinking it was diverticulitis or some kind of GI ulcer bleed he was admitted and underwent imagining.
Ended up being that he shoved three pens and two butter knives up there.
undercoverRN
11.
A Ziploc plastic bag containing an aluminum water bottle and a baseball.
A Ziploc plastic bag containing an aluminum water bottle and a baseball.
dynamictoad2
12.
This piece of equipment is cautiously and sparingly used to assist in a vaginal delivery.
We had a chuckle and went about our days.
They were trying to vacuum extract a beer stein from some dudes rectum.
I never did find out if it worked or not…
The anesthesiologist who came up told us that the patient said he did it on a dare.
As if that makes it somehow less screwed up.
Inappropriatenurse
13.
Finally, we all saw something give.
The surgeon said:
Can I just ask you guys one thing?
All of us: Sure yeah.
Him: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??!
(as he pulled the flashlight out of the patients ass and held it in the air triumphantly).
hobogloves
14.
Well women can use fake dicks strapped to their waist.
Why cant men have fake vaginas?
AmbientBananas
15.
Guy had a ping-pong ball in his rectum.
But what if it explodes?
Finally they were able to slip a Foley catheter past it, inflate it and pull it out.
NiceDecnalsBubs
16.
A ping-pong ball followed by cement.
Also took a candle of Santa Claus out of a priests butt on Christmas Eve.
He went home the same day and did mass the next day.
He said he stuck it up there to have some fun.
The best, though, was the guy who came in with cement up his butt.
That escalated really quickly!
DrWYSISYG
17.
Another X-ray tech here.
That last one took the fire department to cut him free from.
whereisyours
18.
Fortunately his condition was stable.
ThatCaseSuitsYou
19.
A guy with an object that went from his anus to his tonsils.
Dildos getting stuck or some other sex act gone wrong…not really crazy anymore, just incidents.
Beer bottle…not really crazy just ambitious I suppose.
shutthefuckupdonnie1
20.
A car gear stick.
I used to work with an ex-A&E nurse.
The many stories she came out with were amazing.
Two stick out and related to this thread…this one is my favorite.
Apparently he had a rectal spasm and his arsehole snapped shut, leaving him clamped to his car.
Severe anal burns resulted.
He was face down arse up in recovery.
In a small town EVERYONE got to hear about it.
60svintage
21.
Two Chapsticks, followed by a fat highlighter pen.
A friend of mine is a nurse.
He said a guy came into the ER saying he got something stuck in his butt.
My friend got in there and saw it was one of those fat highlighters, caught at the neck.
After a steroid (I think?)
injection to relax the muscles my friend pulled the highlighter out with medical tongs/pliers.
Long story short, the guy also had two ChapSticks behind the highlighter.
So my friend pulled those two out as well.
The guy was grateful for the removal and the recommendations.
hasneverflossed
22.
My wife works in a hospital.
An examination found he had a rotting cucumber up his ass, which he claimed no knowledge of.
Turns out he was not lying.
Rather than confront him with his misdeeds, his wife decided to go straight to retribution.
So she drugged his dinner one night, then administered thecoup de concombre, so to speak.
keenly_disinterested
23.
A Costco-sized shampoo bottle.
mojonito
24.
A mortar shell casing and an 8-ball from a billiard table.
blitzwit32
25.
The Mrs. Butterworths bottle wins, with the Brut bottle coming in a close second.
onetimerone
26.
R4V3M45T3R
27.
A plastic Coke bottle with the five bumps on the bottom in first.
