Everything about that life was my dream, absolutely.
Until it wasn’t.
I always, without a shred of doubt, wanted to be an actress.
Smash
My first role on stage was as a Villager inTreasure Islandat around age 8. and in each of our performances over that weekend I wasecstaticto shout it out to my obviously adoring fans.
I wasnt too loud on stage, I was projecting and my vocal power was impressive.
I wasnt exaggerating when I was acting, I was being animated and making bold choices.
I was never too much in the theatre, I was right at home.
So naturally, I feel in love with it.
It was all I really wanted to do.
Smash
The dreams didnt stop in college either, but grew and grew and grew.
I had regional credits, community credits, the educational credits.
But thats the thing about the surface.
But being happy and being fulfilled are not the same thing.
So while I was happy because I was living my quote unquote dream, I admittedly wasnt fulfilled.
Everything about that life was my dream, absolutely.
Being a performer made me indisputably happy, yes.
But there was always a part of me that failed to feel fully satisfied from just being an actress.
Im a very analytical person.
I was doing it.
I remember vividly the day I knew I was over it.
Everything on paper was amazing and I should have been wildly thrilled with the opportunity.
But I just wasnt.
That if you dont love it with your whole heart, you shouldnt keep doing it.
That if you dont fully want to commit to that life with your whole heart, you should stop.
Your singular dream shouldnt be hindering you from living a dynamic life.
For me, thats what was happening.
Your dreams are allowed to change.
Your aspirations are allowed to evolve.
And you are allowed to grow with them.
Theres absolutely no way of knowing what would have happened if I would have stayed in the theatre world.
Its because I gave up my dream that I was able to find another.
Its filled with twists and turn, and sometimes a complete derailment.
But thats not a failure on your part.
It means you know yourself well enough to listen to what your gut is telling you and trusting yourself.
And thats something worth dreaming about.
