My pessimism hasnt helped me in the long run.
It has only made me grouchier, more paranoid, less approachable.
I keep my expectations low to protect my heart, but it isnt even working.
God & Man
By
Updated 6 years ago,April 1, 2019
I keep my expectations low to avoid disappointment.
If the day ends up goingbetterthan expected, I am pleasantly surprised.
Its a win-win situation.
Of course, I get suspicious whenever my day goestoowell.
I expect the worst from the world, the worst from other people.
I assume no one wants me around and I dont really want other people around.
I keep to myself because its easier that way.
There is less drama.
Less room for disappointment.
I am terrified of loss.
I am terrified of abandonment.
I keep my expectations low because I have been hurt before and dont want to go through it again.
I am a skeptic at heart.
I lean on my pessimism as a defense mechanism.
If I have low expectations, I can never be disappointed.
I can never be hurt except thats not entirely true.
I still get my feelings hurt.
I still experience disappointment even when I know something horrible is coming.
My pessimism hasnt helped me in the long run.
It has only made me grouchier, more paranoid, less approachable.
I keep my expectations low for protect my heart, but it isnt even working.
I need to think higher of people.
I need to think higher of myself.
I need to change my skepticism into optimism because I am making every day harder on myself.
Its hard to make friends.
Its hard to keep friends.
I am going to work on dismantling that voice piece by piece.
I am going to fight for my happiness instead of accepting sadness as a constant.
I am going to stop being such a grump and make an effort to see the good in people.
