Anything you made a slight comment about, I fixed, desperate to hold on to you.
Yet when I was crying, begging you to love me properly, nothing changed.
By
Updated 5 years ago,November 22, 2019
Not all love stories get a happy ending.
Andrik Langfield
Thats just the way the world works, Ive learned.
Its not always fair, and sometimes its downright cruel the way the universe gives and takes.
We started as pure as any love story could.
Slow dancing by the fire in the moonlight.
A sweet kiss goodnight.
A good morning text.
The beauty of a new love brings the potential of a brutal goodbye.
I couldnt shut up about you.
Did you know that?
My best friend told me Ive never looked happier.
I was like a kid who just got a new toy.
I would have done anything you asked if it meant I got to see your smile.
Anything you made a slight comment about, I fixed, desperate to hold on to you.
Yet when I was crying, begging you to love me properly, nothing changed.
Im a firm believer in second chances.
And third, and fourth.
Moving on is never easy.
Some nights I still dream about you, and some mornings I wake up in tears.
Most days I still think about the past, every good memory you left engraved in my mind.
Some days I still think about what could have been.
Its my favorite pastime, to dream about where we could be now.
The family we couldve been, the life we were creating together.
Or rather, the life you created in my head full of lies.
You gave me hope for us then ripped it all away.
Was that your plan from the start?
You wanted to teach me the best in the world, and then smear it with the worst.
You gave me my highest highs and my lowest lows.
I wouldve taken a hundred years of those lows for one more day of the good times with you.
You made me desperate for one more kiss, one more touch.
I never believed in jealousy.
That is, until I learned about all the other girls in your bed while I wasnt there.
Something inside me changedmy trust, my peace, it all flipped.
You turned me into this jealous monster.
I felt I had to spend every second with you or youd be spending it holding someone else.
I was suffocating you, and your lies were suffocating me.
We both knew we were not healthy anymore; we were running out of air and out of time.
I couldnt close my eyes and hold my breath waiting for you to change any longer.
I knew our time was coming.
Here I am, a month or so after youre gone, finally trying to feel like myself again.
I plucked every microscopic piece of negativity, anxiety, and hatred from my life.
That does not mean Ive forgotten you, it means I will no longer dwell on you.
I will wish you and your new love nothing but the best.
I will remember our time together, but I will not let the damage stay.
My next love may be just like you.
But maybe he wont.
I refuse to hurt an innocent soul the way you did mine.
I refuse to make the next heart I fall for clean up the mess you made.
I am at peace without you, and I will bloom again.
