I wanted love so much that I didnt even care if it would hurt me.
By
Updated 6 years ago,September 25, 2019
Ive been a fool, but its over now.
I met this guy who acted as if he had everything figured out.
Everton Vila
I met him at his worst that I could say.
He acted as if there was something missing in his life despite having it all.
I didnt believe in love and I wasnt the jot down of person who believed people so easily.
I wasnt the pop in of person who would love so freely without any doubts at all.
But I saw the sadness.
I saw the void, the emptiness.
And for some reason, I wanted to know why.
I wanted to know more.
I listened for days, weeks, even months for his same old stories.
Thats how they always are theyll act as if it’s possible for you to fill the void.
I knew he just wanted to get me.
He wanted to get my interest so I would want him; I loved that attention.
I loved the effort.
I loved the lies.
I wouldnt stay guarded anymore and I would let all my walls down because it would be worth it.
A man who only knew how to love himself and those who benefited him.
A man who only cared about what was good for him.
I was angry at first.
I didnt know that loving someone could hurt this bad.
I cant blame myself for trying, though.
At least I tried.
I tried to open up.
I tried to bring my guard down.
I tried to love.
Its just sad that I had to learn the hard way.
I felt sorry for not being the one who stayed by his side.
I felt sorry for giving up.
I felt sorry for being hurt.
I felt sorry for my hands for holding the wrong ones.
I felt sorry for my lips for kissing all the lies.
I felt sorry for my body for acting so tough and dodging all the bullets directed at me.
I felt sorry for my mind for torturing it with all the positive thoughts that werent even real.
I felt sorry for my eyes for seeing all the good and ignoring all the bad.
And most of all, I felt sorry for my heart.
I wanted love so much that I didnt even care if it would hurt me.
Im a mess now.
But tomorrow and the following days, I know Ill be better.
