I Loved You More Than I Loved Myself

I made decisions based off what I thought would make you like me.

I didn’t care about myself anymore.

I decided your happiness mattered more than my own.

God & Man

I had trouble focusing on classes and chores and paperwork, because you were all I cared about.

I lost sleep totextyou.

I lost money shopping to look good for you.

I lost my mind trying to figure out whether you liked me back.

That is why I sacrificed for you.

I went above and beyond your expectations.

God & Man

I did everything within my power to impress you.

I loved you more than I loved myself and that was the problem.

I spent my free time thinking of ways to make you happy and never asked myself howIfelt.

I stopped listening to the music I preferred because I wanted to hear your favorite songs.

I stopped having an identity of my own because I was trying to become your dream girl.

Even when you treated me poorly, I kept you on a pedestal.

I looked straight past your red flags.

I saw someone perfect.

Someone completely out of my league.

Meanwhile, I hated myself.

I criticized every pimple.

I cried in front of the mirror.

I felt ugly and unwanted.

Instead of learning to love myself, I became obsessed with convincingyouto love me.

I thought your attention was the key to happiness.

I thought a relationship with you would solve my insecurity problems.

I thought the reason I was so miserable was because I was alone.

It turns out, therealreason for my misery was because I had neglected myself.

I had stopped taking care of myselfformyself.

I did it for you.

I worked out to lose weight, because I thought it would impress you.

I bought new clothes to impress you.

I wore makeup to impress you.

It was all about you.

I became a background character in my own story.

I stopped having an opinion.

I made decisions based off what I thought would make you like me.

I didnt care about myself anymore.

I decided your happiness mattered more than my own.

You looked at me like I was worthless, so I started to do the same.

I told myself I wasnt enough, because you were the measure of my worth.

It didnt matter how many texts I hadunreadon my phone, because I only wanted to hear from you.

I needed validation from you.

I needed your approval.

Thankfully, I have stopped relying on others to bring me happiness.

I have realized how unhealthy it is to base my mood off their opinion of me.

I have realized I cannot force someone to like me.