By
Updated 4 years ago,April 19, 2021
Three years.
My lips touched her forehead.
I never had a doubt in my mind that wed stay together.
Unsplash / Ian Dooley
Ever since high school, I had problems falling asleep and staying asleep.
Thesleep deprivationhit me hard.
It led to sending weird messages to friends that made even less sense than drunk texts.
To acting out my dreams by accidentally swatting at my girlfriend in my sleep.
Someone tried to take my girlfriend away from me.
Losing her was the worst thing my brain could conjure up.
Unsplash / Ian Dooley
The worst thing that could possibly happen to me.
I tossed him to the ground.
And I started beating the shit out of him.
I brought my arm back and smashed it against his face.
What the hell are you doing, Eric?
I heard my girlfriend scream from the sidelines, but it only made me fight harder, punch faster.
I needed to save her.
I couldnt lose her.
I couldnt live without her.
Three years of forehead kisses and home cooked meals and cuddles on the couch.
The night of our anniversary (three whole years, which I couldnt believe!
He had done similar things before.
But that night, the night of our anniversary, he stayed asleep.
Even as I struggled beneath him.
Even as I screamed his name.
What the hell are you doing, Eric?
Fighting back never crossed my mind.
Hurting him never crossed my mind.
Just the screaming and the dodging.
And the world blinked away.
Dark yellow bruises splattered across her chest.
Blood emptying out from a gash in her head.
Her veins still, her pulse already gone.
At that time, I didnt put two and two together.
I didnt realize how it had happened.
All I knew was thatI lost her.
I lost the only thing that ever mattered to me.
The only thing that helped me fall asleep at night.
