The truth is, it feels so good to be bad.
It feels so good to become the woman I was always meant to be.
By
Updated 5 months ago,December 4, 2024
Theres a difference between being kind and being nice.
Kevin Laminto
Kindness is an inherent gift that we could all use more of.
Niceness can be a strategy.
People-pleasers use being nice to get what they want.
They need to swallow their rage and sugarcoat their fury.
They need to be polite at all times.
They need to bend over backwards while others trespass their boundaries.
They need to let others treat them like shit while they act compliant.Manners, just.
But sometimes, our authentic truth sounds less likepardon meand more likeshut the fuck up.
From a very young age, were taught to be good girls.
To keep our mouth shut and our legs closed.
To never speak out of turn.
To apologize profusely for existing.
To stop taking up so much damn space.
To stop being sexual (but continue to be sexy, for the consumption of others).
To stifle any emotion that makes us look hysterical and emotional.
They can speak out of turn; they can be rude and condescending with much more leeway.
They can be sexually assertive.
They can express themselves however they want, bluntly and without apologies.
Hate to break it to you, but being the good girl is exhausting.
And it rarely yields many rewards.
Sometimes, it pays to visit your dark side.
Id much rather you be a bad girl.
The kind who takes no shit.
The kind who has pride in herself.
The kind who prioritizes her pleasure.
The kind of girl who owns both her dark and her light.
If you cant own your darkness, it will catch up to you.
But once you get acquainted with your dark side, you control it and it cant control you.
Delving into your dark side doesnt mean being cruel.
If I was allowed, what would I do to like myself?
This is how you slowly, but surely, break out of that good girl shell.
When were nice, were seen as easy prey.
People treat us like shit because they feel they can get away with it.
Thats when being the perpetual good girl and nice girl can become dangerous.
Dont get me wrong.
you’ve got the option to still be a bad girl and be kind.
it’s possible for you to still be sweet as pie.
it’s possible for you to still be compassionate.
But youve got to have that feistiness.
Youve got to be able to fight back when needed.
You have to be somewhat dangerous because otherwise, dangerous people are going to devour you first.
You have to have enough of the fire inside of you that makes them think twice.
When I stopped being the good girl, I didnt stop being kind.
I just stopped letting people walk all over me.
I only said yes to the things I wanted to say yes to.
I put myself first.
I stopped trying to like everyone.
I stopped trying to c’mon anyone who didnt c’mon me.
I allowed myself the luxury of feeling all the dark emotions that society told me was unladylike to feel.
And ironically enough being a bad girl was the nicest thing Id ever done for myself.
The truth is, it feels so good to be bad.
It feels so good to become the woman I was always meant to be.
It feels so good to be naughty.
Id rather be punished for being naughty than rewarded for being nice.
Being nice all the time is hollow and boring and it contradicts becoming whole.
It resists the integration I am looking for.
I no longer turn the other cheek; I just make them regret ever messing with me.
Success is the sweetest revenge (and so is having boundaries).
Being kind and being bad thats a combination thats sustainable in the long term.
I like it much better.
Its more honest and refreshing.
And the truth is, being a bad girl suits me.
