I’m not used to getting the person that I want.
I’m used to having my heart broken before the relationship officially begins.
By
Updated 11 months ago,May 31, 2024
I suck at texting people back.
God & Man
Ill look at my phone, read the message, and then forget about it.
Its not that the conversation isnt important to me.
Its just that I get distracted easily.
I suck at flirting.
Sometimes I take my teasing and sarcasm too far and come across as mean.
I can never strike the perfect balance.
God & Man
I suck at opening myself up to people.
Ive built a wall around my heart that Im not prepared to take down.
So I circle around certain subjects.
I avoid talking about my family drama and former depression, because I feel like its off limits.
I hide pieces of myself without even thinking about it.
But it keeps people at an arms length when all they want to do is inch closer to me.
I suck at couple-y things.
Ive always made fun of romcoms and romance novels.
Ive always hated sappy, gooey, grand gestures.
Im not a fan of flower petals or candlelit dinners.
Im not interested in the things most women find romantic.
I suck at releasing my emotions.
When Im upset, I hide whatever has been on my mind.
I act like nothing is bothering me.
Even when Im happy, Ive conditioned myself to keep it under wraps.
I dont want to become too transparent.
I suck at being selfless.
Im used to putting myself first, to only caring about my own needs.
Im not used to being a part of a team.
Im not used to taking someone elses feelings into consideration before making a major decision.
I suck at talking about the future.
I dont know where Im going to be in a few years.
I still feel like a kid.
Im not ready for marriage yet.
I suck at staying happy.
I always find a reason to be miserable.
I look for things to complain about, even when my life has reached its highest point.
I whine, even when I should just be enjoying the moment.
Ive had more practice crying than smiling.
I suck at being a girlfriend.
Im not used to getting the person that I want.
Im not used to being wanted back.
Im used to having my heart broken before the relationship officially begins.
I suck at serious relationships, because Ive never really been in one.
Im not used to the way they work.
