It felt like some sort of sick, cosmic joke.
A pregnant woman diagnosed with HIV?
Where do you even hear something like that.
I couldnt help but think I had already failed my baby, and he wasnt even born yet.
What chance could my baby have in life with a HIV-positive mother?
What would he think of me?
Would he still love me?
After my diagnosis, I spiralled into a dark pit of depression.
Every day, I woke to crippling, self-deprecating thoughts and almost acted upon them.
This mental torment was the worst part about having HIV.
The irony was that I inflicted this anguish upon myself.
The implicated disgrace of being diagnosed as HIV-positive during pregnancy completely dismantled my self-worth.
These negative nuances of HIV being imposed upon me made me furious.
So, I decided to treat my HIV like it was nothing.
I was open about my diagnosis with the people in my life.
I proudly took my medication in public if I needed to.
I embraced my HIV.
And after a while, uttering the words I am HIV-positive stopped stinging so much.
I wont pretend that any of this was easy, though.
I wasnt expecting much traction from this video, but very quickly my story gathered a following.
However, this journey has undoubtedly made me stronger person and enabled me to love myself as a whole.
