My heart aches with emptiness as soon as I walk out the door.
I want to scream or rip my hair out as the loneliness settles in.
I dont want to feel this way about you… but I feel it anyway.
Riccardo Bresciani
Its hard to love you so much that it hurts, especially when I have to leave your side.
Ive tried so hard to fight the feelings, to care less and detach.
Yet for some reason, I can never break the chain that binds us together.
I fight the rage that builds when I feel like second best.
Jealousy consumes me when you avoid me or seek solace in someone else.
I want to disappear and forget that I ever met you as the abandonment rolls in.
I dont want to feel this way about it… but I feel it anyway.
Ive tried so hard to turn off my brain, to distract and even self-soothe.
But no matter what, I can never find the voice of reason or decipher a grain of truth.
My body begins to tingle.
I close my eyes and fade away.
You say that well always be close, but today you feel so far away.
I dont want to feel this way about today… but I feel it anyway.
Its hard to stay present in a moment, especially one thats painful and terrifying.
Yet somehow nobody ever will, and therefore I cannot stay.
I dont want to love, nor do I want to hate.
I dont want to live, but I dont have the courage to die.
I feel trapped inside my body, but like the world also pins me down.
I dont think I can survive the storm another week or even another day.
This is my silent cry for someone to save me, to throw the rescue line before I drown.
I dont want to feel this way about anyone ever again… but I feel it every single day.
