I want to feel the happiness I felt when I was with you.
I want to feel everything I felt when we were together.
By
Updated 5 years ago,January 18, 2020
I would have done anything to keep loving you.
Jen Palmer
I would have walked through the depths of hell and back to see a smile on your face.
It almost feels as if I feel empty inside, but I feel everything all at once.
At least fear is something.
Repeat the process over and over.
I want to feel the happiness I felt when I was with you.
I want to feel everything I felt when we were together.
You were my best friend, and I could tell you anything.
I allowed you to hurt me over and over.
Never physically, and I dont believe it was ever fully intentionally.
We hurt each other though, didnt we?
I would have done anything to hold onto the love.
I would have done anything to keep loving you.
Except for one thingI will never give up my dignity.
I wont give up my pride.
Your friendship and love meant the world to me, but Im not going to beg for it.
You left, and it hurt.
I dont think you realize I would have done anything to hold onto the friendship.
You were one of the few people I related to.
I thought it was going to be a lifelong relationshipfriendship, at least.
I thought you would be around so much longer than you were.
Then you were gone.
It wasnt a slow process, either.
At least I didnt notice it being done slowly.
I didnt pay enough attention to you.
Maybe I didnt show you how much I cared about you.
I would have held onto you longer than I should have.
I couldnt bring myself to keep fighting for someone that doesnt care about me, though.
Caring about someone only to meet an empty screen is painful.
That is something I wont do.
And the truth is that Ill do what it takes to keep loving myself.
Nothing is more important than self-love, and I know Im going to be okay.
I would have done anything to keep you in my life, but Im never going to sacrifice myself.
Im never, ever going to give up myself to let you love me.
If giving up my self-love is what it takes to keep loving you, then its not worth it.
You arent deserving of my love, time, or energy.
You arent deserving of my love if you dont want any time with me.
Ill never wish anything against you.
I hope the world shows you the love and happiness that you deserve, and you do deserve it.
You deserve all the love and happiness in the world, and I wish that for you.
I wont say that I see you negatively.
I wont say that youre a bad person.
I wont say that I hate you or that I even dislike you, because I dont.
That I was worth it.
If you ever come back into my life, Ill accept you with open arms.
Your friendship was always worth it.
like, take your time.
Find yourself and learn to love yourself.
Thats the best thing you might do.
I would have done anything to keep loving youand I still do.
Im just waiting for you to love you.
