I refuse to settle for something that won’t fulfill just because I feel lonely or sad or empty.
I refuse to take all of my loneliness and put it on another person’s back.
I refuse to settle for a relationship that I don’t even really want.
God & Man
I was the queen of chasing, but also the queen of getting rejection.
I used to run after people who wanted nothing to do with me.
I swear, they could smell my desperation from miles away.
When that didnt work, I turned into somebody who would settle for just about anyone.
As long as they wanted me back, I was stoked.
Of course, that always ended up turning into a storm I should have seen coming.
God & Man
It was a dumb idea.
To just take anyone.
To just take anyone who was willing to call me his.
To think that would make me happy.
To think that someone mediocre would make me happy.
Love when you force it, is not love.
Being in a relationship doesnt automatically mean that its love.
Or maybe its just plain loneliness.
I havent been in arelationshipin years to double-check I didnt make the same mistake.
Why bother being in a relationship when you dont even really like your partner?
Why bother getting into a committed partnership, just because you dont like being alone at night?
I refuse to take all of my loneliness and put it on another persons back.
I refuse to settle for a relationship that I dont even really want.
I refuse to jump into anything that Im unsure of.
Honestly, Id rather just stay single.
Because at least then, Im not hurting anyone else.
Its not worth the time and the effort to lie to yourself about how you are feeling.
And its not worth breaking someone elses heart in the aftermath of the relationship.
Choose to work on yourself instead of jumping into the next best thing.
No relationship is going to fix your heart or your voids.
So you might as well start accepting your single status.
You might as well start accepting and loving your own lonely heart.
The right relationship will come one day.
Its time to focus on the most important relationship.
