I was naive to fall in love with you so quickly, so unconditionally.
I was a fool to think you had the capacity to love me back.
I had the most pure heart, untainted, completely whole and ready to give you everything.
God & Man
I believe everyone is capable of love, I just hadnt been lucky enough to feel it yet.
That is, until I met you.
Such a beautiful, raw feeling, and this was the first Id gotten to experience it?
Is this what all those couples on Instagram feel every day?
Life is so unfair, but once I had it, I couldnt let it go.
Part of me wants to believe Ill feel that way again someday.
But the other part of me knows Id run scared if I ever did.
Because as beautiful as it felt, coming down from that high was worse.
Loving you was easy, you gave me so much to fall for.
It felt natural, like this is the way I was supposed to live my life.
Washing dishes after cooking you dinner, with your hands on my hips and your lips on my neck.
Its like I finally found where I belong, and thats with you.
Loving me must have been more difficult.
It mustve been more work than you were willing to put in.
Maybe it was killing you inside to be with me every day.
Maybe me thinking I needed to try harder, was pushing you further away.
I know I smothered you.
I know my love was too much for you to handle.
I know I was clingy and afraid to leave you alone for even an hour.
But you know those trust issues didnt come from no where, you know you gave them to me.
You and every girl you had in bed when I wasnt there.
Still, I stayed.
I couldnt convince myself to leave, my love for you grew deeper with every fake apology.
Every fake speech about love.
Except I dont feel free still.
I feel trapped inside a life I dont want to live alone.
Im still sitting here alone, praying you might come back.
You have to come back.
Truth is, Im still hoping theres another chance for us.
Id give you anything, for one more chance to do things right.
I think on some level Ill always love you.
They say time heals everything, but its been so long and Im still waiting for you.
Ill always wait for you.
Even if Id never met you, I think Id be waiting for you.
Because nothing else, no other person, has felt this right.
There is no one else that can make me feel the intensity of emotions you do.
Every person Ive tried to love, has been a failed attempt to replace you.
It wasnt our time yet.
But Im trusting we will have our time someday.
just remember how valuable you are.
As much as you did me wrong, I never want you to doubt yourself.
And lastly, I hope someday there is another chance for us.
