Part of who you are is who you surround yourself with.
But that led to a lot of distress and sadness.
I wish Id seen the signs because I couldve avoided a lot of pain.
Sinitta Leunen
But we live, and we learn, right?
And I learned a lot from letting my identity be taken over by my relationships.
Given the current situation with the novel crisis, seeing your friends might not be an option.
In which case, FaceTime and Zoom are great choices.
Make dates to video chat with your friends or give them a call to catch up.
In my current relationship, we switch off doing things that I enjoy with things that my boyfriend enjoys.
In fact, we both revel in the idea of introducing the other to something we love.
Your interests are part of what makes up your relationship, as a whole.
Keep doing things that make you happy.
Think back to before your relationship began.
What were your goals and passions?
Are you still pursuing those same things today?
If not, ask yourself why things changed.
Youre always on edge
Ive been in relationships where I constantly felt on edge.
I was either worried Id upset my partner, or I never felt I could relax and be myself.
Feeling anxious and worried about your relationship changes who you are.
Instead of living without inhibitions, youre holding yourself back out of fear.
A relationship should make you feel happy and comfortable not distress you to the point of altering your behavior.
In my young 20s, I had no idea how to create these.
I gave and gave and gave to my partner and it drained me.
Without these, you may be feeling unhappy, and like your partner doesnt care for you.
For some, its a defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt.
You let your value be determined by your partner
I am guilty of this way of thinking.
I felt the need to continually prove I was good enough to be his partner.
My feelings hung on every word that came out of his mouth.
He would criticize me and I would internalize his words.
And when we finally broke up, I was a mere shell of who I used to be.
Your value is inherent and isnt determined by your partner.
You create joy and love in your life, but you are valuable no matter what another person says.
Life is too short not to be yourself.
Experience it to your full capabilities.
