I always figured by the time I would turn 21, I would feel so adult.
But to be honest, I’m 24 and I don’t feel like that at all.
But to be honest, Im 24 and I dont feel like that at all.
Jose Alfredo Lerma Contreras
When I was little, being 24 seemed impossible and big and terrifying.
By the time I hit 18, it still seemed so far away.
And now that Im at that age, I dont feel any different.
I dont feel any more grown up than I did at 17 or 16.
Sure, Im more mature.
Sure, I fuck up a little less, but I still have so much to learn.
Jose Alfredo Lerma Contreras
So much to experience and to do.
So much to dream.
Im wondering when the hell am I going to feel grown up?
Am I just going to wake up and feel different?
Or am I always going to feel like this?
At a young age, I was certain that 24 or 25 would be my golden years.
But of course, I dont have any of that.
I share an apartment.
I dont own a car.
I dont have enough money to buy freaking Prada shoes.
But I do have a career thats blossoming.
So maybe a part of my six year old self was right about something.
In regards to boys, and boyfriends, and friendships, I feel so, so, young.
Im still trying to figure everything out.
I lose friends and I dont know how to handle it.
I lose boyfriends and I beat myself up for it.
I desperately want to find love, but havent found it in years.
I still cant really do my taxes without an online website helping me.
I still calculate my tips with my calculator on my phone.
But maybe thats the point of it all.
Maybe Im never going to feel like a grown up.
Maybe Im always going to be a daydreamer, be too optimistic, and too gullible.
Maybe none of us will ever feel like we have our shit together.
At the end of the day, we are all struggling.
We are all working hard to find out who the hell we are.
We are all trying to find love, trying to be loved.
And most importantly, we just want to be happy.
And just like you.
