By
Updated 8 years ago,October 17, 2017
Im always going to be that first text.
The one doing double takes looking at my phone.
The one who answers quickly regardless of how much time you let pass.
God & Man
The one who sucks at hiding emotions.
You look at my face and you see every emotion across it.
Im always going to be the one making the plans.
God & Man
The one investing more time, emotion and effort if I think youre worth it.
Im always going to be the one whofalls a little too fast and hard.
No matter how many time I crash at the bottom.
The truth is there isnt a painful enough ending thats changed me.
Sometimes I wish there was.
Im always going to be the one that tries a little too hard for someone.
And it isnt that I dont know my- self-worth or Im overcompensating for things I lack.
Its just who I am.
Even when I wish I was someone else.
Someone who puts 110% into everyone and everything.
And when you tell me tocare lessIm not going to know how to.
Trying too hard to just people has always come very naturally to me.
To me, it doesnt seem like much of an effort at all.
Im always going to look at others before myself.
My greatest attribute is also a shortcoming.
When maybe sometimes it should be the opposite.
Giving my best but always expecting the worst.
The one who constantly tries.
The one who is tired but still finds the energy and time to not let people down.
Even though so many people in the past have let me down and disappointed me.
I hate being asked the question would they do the same?
Because most the time they wouldnt.
And it isnt just romantic relationships its every relationship.
Always being the one who takes care of everything.
And even when its hard, I make it look easy.
Even when Im tired you somehow find energy.
Running myself thin is what Im used to.
Even when I need to be in two places at once I somehow make it happen.
And if I let someone down I take it very personally.
Wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Doing everything I possibly can to make others happy.
Hoping and praying its enough.
And thank yous get replaced with silence.
Appreciation turns into expectation.
And people ask why I try too hard.
And sometimes I wonder it myself.
Sometimes I wish I had a heart that cared less.
A brain that didnt constantly overanalyze things thinking maybe its me.
Someone who didnt take things so personally.
A heart that cares too much seems to be the one that always gets hurt the worst.
