I’m becoming really good at leaving, at lying to people, at keeping my distance from everyone I need close by.

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Updated 8 years ago,August 7, 2017

Blame it on society,blame it on modern dating,blame it on the city I live inthat doesnt root for people like me

But Im becoming so good at hiding things;like my feelings,my loneliness andmy love for you.

I smile at the ones who hurt meand pretend like I didnt spend dayscrying over them,wanting them to want me back.

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I pretend like Ive already let gobecause holding on is weakness,holding on means you dont knowthe kind of love youdeserve.

I act like everyone is just a friend,Im not looking for anything morebecause wanting more meanspushing away the ones you care about.

So I hide how I feel.I say Im happy theyre dating,Im happy they found loveas I continue to mend my broken heart.

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I pretend that I like loneliness,that solitude is good for me,good for my work.I pretend like I dont need anyone.

And I keep hiding my pain.I keep hiding my anger.I keep hiding everything I want to show,and everything I want tofeel.

Im becoming really good at seeing youand making you feel like I forgot you,making you feel like you were nothing.Im acting the scene that comesnaturallyto you.

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freestocks.org

Im becoming really good at leaving,at lying to people,at keeping my distancefrom everyone I need close by.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new bookAll The Words I Should Have Said, availablehere.

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