I guess this is why they say romantic relationships are more like spiritual assignments.
They dont always give you want you want but they always give you what you need.
By the way, no one really believes you thought I was a friend of yours called Penny.
Unsplash / Aricka Lewis
But it makes for a good story.
And a successful pick up line.
You did well to come back and ask for my number.
Unsplash / Aricka Lewis
And Ill be forever grateful that you did.
The last few months have been nothing short of a beautiful, crazy adventure.
Weve been through more in the last ten or so weeks than most couples go through in a year.
Perhaps the intensity of our beginning hastened along our ending.
And yet we didnt exactly stay still.
Yet I understand why were not.
I guess even staycations have their check out times.
Although truth be told, I dont want this to be the end.
But then thats the frustrating fact of life.
Sometimes it doesnt always work out the way you want.
But back to those reasons of yours.
You say youre lost; that you need time to figure your life out.
Life is made up of experiences, or dots.
Just because the picture hasnt come into frame or form yet, doesnt mean its not taking shape.
Youre in a process of becoming, as we all are.
Your life is an artwork in progress and art cannot be rushed.
It will start to make sense.
Youre not lost, you just cant see the whole picture yet.
You will find that thing thats uniquely yours in this life.
You will find that thing that lifts your heart, stirs your soul, and excites your spirit.
Your life will be a magical manifestation of your wildest and grandest dreams.
And you being you, you will squeeze every last drop of goodness and fun out of it.
So, keep dreaming and dream big.
You say your heart isnt ready for the love thats on offer.
It resides there now by the way.
Ive felt it many times, despite what you say about your heart being closed.
She will be one very lucky woman.
Or man, but I sense thats not your gig.
And no, Im not jealous.
Okay, maybe just a little.
You say you better be alone right now; that you need space to figure yourself out.
Now, I suspect our definitions of alone might vary slightly but thats okay.
I hear you and I know what you mean.
You cant do that while carrying the responsibility of holding another persons heart in your hands.
Thank you for telling me all this now and not six months or a year down the track.
Your honesty is testament to your character and the quality of the man that you are.
Its also evidence that my taste in men isnt so bad after all.
You could have taken the easy option and shirked away into the background but you didnt.
You showed up, you spoke your truth, you did the right thing.
The truth will set you free but it will also set the other person free too.
Thank you for setting me free.
You asked me if I thought of you as a disappointment and joked about being a dud.
You are neither of these things so just dont talk about yourself in this way ever again.
Sure, Im disappointed.
Its simply not ripe yet.
By the way, thats not an intended dig on your ranga heritage.
Okay, maybe just a little dig.
To hold on to you would be to make this about me and what I want.
To hold onto you would not be helping you to achieve your goals or live your highest potential.
To hold onto you would be to hold you back from the exciting experiences and adventures that await you.
This doesnt mean Im letting you go.
I dont know how to do that.
Plus, Ive tried and such attempts havent proved fruitless.
So instead, Im letting yoube.
Im letting us be.
Or rather, not be.
To be honest, Im not entirely sure.
It was more than raw physical attraction.
When my eyes found you, it was like finding the familiar after a very long time.
But I didnt just see your physicality, I saw your essence.
This might explain the first twenty-four hours of our acquaintance.
Or should I say re-acquaintance?
After all, we both sensed this wasnt the only lifetime in which our paths had crossed.
And boy, did we make up for it.
Theres nothing I would change about our brief yet intense time together.
Even the messiness in these last few weeks feels like it was somehow perfect and divinely orchestrated.
Plus, most of us are generally better at beginnings than we are at endings.
With you I got both what I wantedandneeded.
For that, I have only infinite gratitude.
Theres so much about you Im going to miss in the days and months to come.
That beautiful, perfect face of yours for starters.
Not waking up to those lips, those eyes, that smile is gonna suck.
What am I saying?
It does suck because youve already left.
Fuck, I dont even want to think about how much I miss that.
Ive always said, right from the beginning, you were a gift.
In which case, while it might not be a competition, I was right.
For now, I have no idea whether or not well be each others lives moving forward.
But nor am I holding on to any either.
I have to move on too.
And you willalwaysbe in a sarong.
