I rebuild your confidence.
And suddenly, I stop hearing from you.
By
Updated 7 years ago,August 4, 2018
Hello.
A. Xromatik
Its me, the girl who guys seem to flock to the minute they break up with their girlfriends.
I am the listener.
I am your safe haven.
A. Xromatik
Gosh, I am so easy to talk to.
Such an amazing person.
You are so thankful to have me.
I am the one you run to, every time.
Im the girl you talk to every single day.
I am your anchor.
Im the cute little therapist tucked away in your back pocket.
I am here to get you through your day, and listen to your rants.
Im the girl you pretend to respect as I politely decline your offer of anything more than friendship.
Im the girl you make empty promises to.
Im the girl who you tell to let you know if I ever need anything.
Im the girl who makes the mistake of actually believing you.
Im the girl who eventually lets her guard down, and lets you in.
Im the girl who finally opens up to you, in bits and pieces, disguised as empathy.
You finally gain my trust.
I find comfort in the illusion of your consistency.
I mistake you to be different.
Lo and behold, within that very week of our sudden halt in communication, you have a girlfriend.
The fact that you stop talking to me simply because youre dating somebody is what has me absolutely furious.
In that moment, I remember who I am.
I am not your friend.
I was never your friend.
I was just a temporary, emotionally-comforting convenience with pretty eyes and a way with words.
In your eyes, I was nothing more than a placeholder.
I was the white flag waving in the sky above this war that you had waged against yourself.
I stop hearing from you, unless I am the one to initiate the conversation.
In your absence, I pick up the pieces of what I mistook for a friendship.
I rebuild my walls.
I question my emotions and whether or not I have validation to feel them.
I promise myself I wont make the same mistake again.
You have no concern for my well-being or catching up.
You just need a quick, convenient therapy session.
Then you disappear again for months at a time, until the next major fight.
Or, of course, the break up.
Eventually, I get tired of your warped-carousel of behavior, I get off the ride.
I tell you Im done.
I explain that I am too old for carnivals.
You make me out to be the bad guy.
You paint yourself the victim of abandonment.
You say everyone leaves you.
