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Updated 6 years ago,July 25, 2019
Im done pretending like I couldve fixed us.
Or so I thought.
But really, I failed myself.
Jesse Herzog
There was no way this was ever going to work.
I tried like hell.
But in reality there was nothing I couldve done.
Im done pretending like I couldve fixed us.
Im done apologizing for being wrong.
Im done asking you to meet me in the middle when you have no intention to.
Im sorry I wasted my time.
Im sorry I let myself fall for someone who had no intention of catching me.
Because the truth is, I thought we could work.
And I really did try.
But you cant be the only one trying.
You cant be the only one putting in work.
Because eventually, you get hurt.
It hurts to care.
It hurts to put so much effort in, just to be torn down.
I built you up so high in my head, that you could do no wrong.
Regardless of what others said.
I wanted so hard for us to work, that I lost myself in the process.
And its a good and bad thing.
I lost myself for a minute.
But in losing you for good, I found myself.
I realize that there was never anything I couldve done to ever make us work.
That was all on you.
And you failed miserably.
You didnt show up when it mattered.
And thats what Ill remember.
Ill remember the nights I stayed up, trying to calm the storm.
Or when things were so good, just wondering when it would go bad again.
I forgive myself for allowing the behavior.
And I even forgive you.
I forgive you, because you too were lost.
Ive learned who I am.
Ive learned what I will tolerate.
And I now know, fixing us was a battle I never couldve won.
Even in my wildest dreams.
Thank you for helping me see what I deserve.
