Im trying to be strong, to be seen as strong.
But I dont want there to be a barrier between my presence and my heart.
Is it standing my ground?
God & Man
Is it fighting back against stereotypes?
Is it accepting my emotions and being comfortable with my femininitywhatever definition I choose?
Is it standing face-to-face with a male and challenging his way of thinking?
Is it following a certain path, accepting a certain truth?
Sometimes I struggle with the label of strong.
That there are women whom this label does not apply to?
God & Man
And what if someones definition of strength is different than my own?
Is it strong to walk away from people who have hurt you?
Is it strong to stay and fight and forgive?
Is it strong to honor your body as a temple?
Is it strong to embrace sexual freedom?
Is it strong to be rough?
I say yes, but does that make me wishy-washy?
And if theres no set definition, then how do I know who I am and where I fit?
Honestly, Im just trying to understand myself.
Im trying to love other people, even when their strength seems to drown out mine.
Im trying to find a place of acceptance, but not passive acceptance.
And yet, not too weak that they dont hear what Im saying.
Im trying to be brave, but not step on anyones toes.
But why, as a woman, do I have to worry about this so much?
Why is it that Ive been conditioned to be careful to not offend anyone whose perspective differs than mine?
Im trying to be strong, to be seen asstrong.
But I dont want there to be a barrier between my presence and my heart.
I want to be independent, but not push people away.
And I desire that just as much.
I want to be indestructible, and yet, I want to be delicate, too.
I want to be seen as fragile, but not breakable.
I want to beempowered, but not so much that the people around me feel purposeless.
I want to carry the weight of this life by myself, but not always.
I want to be desired, and yet, not objectified.
I want to be attractive, butnot beautiful, not valued for my physical body alone.
And honestly, this feels like a list of contradictions.
This feels like Im desperate to not be too one-sided that Im claiming everything as my identity.
But what if I dont fall towards one way of thinking?
What if there isnt a place where I really fit?
What if strength really cant be defined?
I want to share my story, but not be seen as a victim.
I want to be vulnerable without losing my sense of empowerment.
I want to be a Feminist, but not wash out the male perspectives around me.
I want to love with a fierceness without that being labeled as emotional and weak.
I want to feel strong without anyone else believing that they are not in comparison.
I want to be a woman without worrying whether I am too masculine or feminine for my sex.
I want to be whole on my own, but feel complete with another person by my side.
I want to be gentle, but not flimsy.
I want to be understanding, but not so easily coerced.
I want to be a woman, who, perhaps is not static, not always the same.
Strong, simply because that is how she sees herself.
