I was so young then, when you loved me.
It feels like our souls connected that first day I saw you.
I was a hopeless romantic before you, but I wasnt sure I believed in love at first sight.
Kinga Cichewicz
But my god, you intrigued me.
It was a feeling I had never felt before and havent felt since.
It was a feeling of hope and possibility and wonder.
Sometimes I wonder whether the people who hold our hearts with their hands know how precious it is.
Because when you touched me, I felt the world standstill.
Everything fell away except for you and I. I fell deeply, all consumingly in love with you before I could even breathe.
For the silly thing about love is, it is uncontrollable by the human mind.
No being can force when it happens, just like no one can control gravity.
It just is and will always be in the form that it takes.
I felt so at ease with you, like it was meant to be.
You felt like home.
I dont know if you knew this, but the initials of our first names when combined spelled WE.
How fitting that was because for a while we were unstoppable; a true power couple.
Those imaginings were so perfect, I began to worry they werent going to happen.
For in this world, nothing stays beautiful forever.
When you began pulling away, all I wanted to do was pull you closer.
Hear you whisper, I love you, in my ear one more time.
As a reminder, your soul is pure art, flowing freely in this world.
Its as if Michelangelo and Degas decided to form you out of clay, and earth, and sky.
For when you laughed, it was like sunshine piercing through dark clouds over the sea.
We said always, as all young couples do.
For my heart, it was true.
But for yours it seems, it was not.
With you, it felt like we fit together perfectly, like candy corn and pistachios.
However, I also started realizing just how amazing you were, and how much I didnt love myself.
I think my jealousy came out of not believing in myself and thinking you were perfect.
It was hard not to because the way you exist in the world is like magic.
I was so young then, when you loved me.
I didnt mean to hurt you, but I was young and had so much to learn.
I wish I could be meeting you now with this version of myself.
Maybe that missing is a friend I will have with me for a while.
Maybe its something that will remain with me until the day I close my eyes for the last time.
I dont know how this is going to end.
All I know is that the love I have for you is real, unfading, and raw.
All I know is four years later, I still miss you.
And god forbid, I hope you miss me too.
I guess Ill know when I grow too old to dream.
