What was I really losing?
I was always bending over backwards and jumping through ridiculous hoops to keep you in my life.
I was so small and fragile.
George Gvasalia
The slightest rejection from you sent me into a downward spiral.
I would panic at the thought of not having you there to turn to.
I wanted you to be proud of me.
I spent years wishing that you would see me for who I was and actually be happy with it.
There was always something I was doing wrong.
I was never allowed to be anything different than what you envisioned.
I remember thinking that my worst fears had finally caught up to me.
You were gone and I was never going to be enough for you.
I realized that the only interactions we had were negative.
Being close to you meant living life under a microscope.
You took advantage of my love for you and manipulated me into being something I was not.
When you left, the fragile version of me did too.
I learned how to stand on my own two feet without you there to catch me.
I know that when life gets harder, I dont need to go running back to you.
I dont need to beg you to love and accept me because I finally love and accept myself.
I never have to chase after you because Im better than that now.
You taught me lessons about life that simply couldnt have been learned the easy way.
I learned a lot about trust by realizing how easily you could lie.
I learned a lot about love because I saw how you couldnt love me.
I learned to accept myself because you never did.
You always assumed you were setting the example for me, and you were.
It just wasnt in the way you thought.
I know who I am and I know what I want.
To my surprise, I never needed you to help me with that.
And I am doing just fine.
I never realized how much of a blessing in disguise it all was until today.
I finally know myself, andthatis everything to me now.
