Im trying really hard to imagine a life where you choose to stay instead of go.
But whos going to tell me how?
How am I supposed to be open?
God & Man
How do I let myself fall?
How do I stop imagining you leaving when leaving is all Ive ever known?
Im afraid to love you because every time Ive tried to love, Ive failed.
I worry I wont be enough to make you stay.
Im afraid to love you because I know I already do.
I already know Ive fallen.
I already know that Im attached.
I already know that Ive opened up my life to you in ways I never have to anyone else.
I already know that youre different from the rest of them, from the ones who made leaving familiar.
I already know that you love me back and that you say youll probably love me forever.
But thats just it, theprobably.
Its the probably that scares me, the uncertainty of love, of this love and every other love.
I thought that certainty was the key that would make me open up to you.
I thought certainty was the thing that would allow me to fall fully.
I thought certainty would be the only way Id be able to keep love instead of push it away.
Now I know differently, not better, but just differently.
Im not going to let that scare love away.
Im trying really hard to be less afraid of loving you.
