I have over two million followers, so I just assumed people were hanging on my every word.
Naturally, I feared my loyal followers would begin scattering elsewhere if I didnt update them soon.
I had the perfect shot picked out to accompany my important public service message about saving the beached manatees.
Gian Cescon
Or is it turtles?
Its easy to confuse those amphibians.
I dont even know how that got on my phone!
It was so fat and gross and clearly in need of a three-day juice cleanse.
I have over two million followers, so I just assumed people were hanging on my every word.
Shockingly, this post was hardly hearted at all, explained the perplexed tramp.
I was so dejected!
I had to know.
So for the 6 p.m. dinner post, I did something really radical.
Youll never guess… … …that post was almost completely ignored also!
It was as if no one cared about my mindfulness or healthy living tips.
I might even be forced to get a job and vacation somewhere awful like Myrtle Beach.
Surely I hadnt really been abandoned by a fickle public.
I still had so much to say about makeup and eating disorders and fashion designers.
How could I get them to come back and listen?
Thats when I stumbled across this writer guys post about the scourge of social media.
Poor guy had hardly any likes at all.
My toenails alone get more than he had, especially when I use the bright red polish.
I learned a valuable lesson from that depressing writer.
