After cheating, marriage will never be the same.
Why cant even a good marriage recover from infidelity?
And is it even worth staying together?
Photo bySandy MillaronUnsplash
Or would it be better to walk away?
After all, lots of spouses take a stab at restore the relationship.
Yet, there is a reason.
When Just Fine Isnt Good Enough Anymore
When it comes to long-term relationships, good equals average.
And what is average?
This does not mean that being in a successful marriage is bad.
But when it comes to marriage, good should be just average, as a kind of default setting.
The mediocrity trap is the following:
Mediocrity only requires minimum effort, even that it is quickly depleted.
And what is essential in all this?
The first wish of couples whose relationship was shaken by cheating is for things to be like before.
They want everything to return to normal, before infidelity was discovered or revealed.
But what does it mean?
In general, they will create the same marriage they already had, which led to a disappointing outcome.
So it is unsurprising that so many marriages end in divorce.
Cheating is like an earthquake.
If you just restore a destroyed building, then it will be exactly as vulnerable as before.
If you want to feel safe in your new home, you will have to make it more durable.
The same is true in marriage.
It is not enough to forgive, reconcile, and restore relationships.
Those are just the first steps.
The next essential step, which many do not take, is affair recovery.
It is necessary to rebuild the marriage and create a relationship that is immune to infidelity.
It is like a turn in the road, not a dead end.
A couple who stayed together after cheating should be ready to work on a better marriage model.
They need relationship skills and strategies that help maintain the good that never stops growing and developing.
Here are several conditions for restoring the relationship and taking it to the next level.
Its up to you to decide if you are ready to take these steps.
We have to admit that each partner will have to reconsider their behavior.
Infidelity is always a symptom of a relationship breakdown, even if we didnt notice it promptly.
Such an approach leads nowhere.
Sleepless nights, self-justification, and a desire for revenge are unproductive.
The conversation can be considered successful if, in the end, the partners experience at least some relief.
It is also important to bring intimacy and daily connection that has become weakened back into your life.
At the same time, it is better to refrain from talking about the family crisis in your circle.
These issues concern only spouses, not their friends, and certainly not children.
The worst thing is when parents involve children in their conflict, making them take sides.
It is enough to tell them something like: We had some problems, but now they are over.
Now well be going out more often on weekends.
Finally, remember that both partners are suffering.
There is no monster or an innocent victim; there are two adults going through tough times.
Otherwise, you would not be interested in saving the marriage but preparing for divorce as quickly as possible.
When did you kiss for the first time?
How did this all get started?
The deceived person is often tempted to ask questions about someone with whom their partner had relations.
The spouses should also avoid the sick pleasure of flaunting the details of the affair.
Its like opening Pandoras boxone fact turns into all these other destructive details, and there is no end.
The other man or woman becomes a ghost, always standing between the spouses.
Mobile phones and computers provoke us to spy on the cheater, and there is nothing worse than that.
In such a case, suspicions turn out to be intolerable and toxic.
Note that time flows differently for partners.
This adventure is over for them.
