Everyone keeps telling me to forgive you.
They tell me it will help in the healing process.
They tell me it will lift a weight off my shoulders.
Jesse Herzog
They tell me it’s the right thing to do.
Yes, you hurt me in the past.
But youre also hurting me in the present.
Im still sorting through the baggage you dropped on my shoulders.
Im still learning how to cope with the pain you inflicted.
Its hard to accept your apologies when the scars you gave me still feel fresh.
Its hard to forget about the past when it keeps coming back to haunt me.
Its hard tobe the bigger personwhen you gave me baggage Im still bringing into new relationships.
I have trust issues because of you.
I have abandonment issues because of you.
I have commitment issues because of you.
Im a grownup willing to take responsibility for my own screwups.
Im not going to blame you for my relationship mistakes.
I own my shit.
But theres no denying youre the reason those issues developed in the first place.
Theres no denying youre the main reason its so hard for me to make a relationship last.
Its hard to forgive you when the mistakes you made had long-lasting, reverberating consequences.
Its hard to forgive you when you did more than ruinourrelationship.
You ruined my future relationships.
You ruined my self-esteem.
You ruined my faith in other people.
Everyone keeps telling me to forgive you.
They tell me it will help in the healing process.
They tell me it will lift a weight off my shoulders.
They tell me its the right thing to do.
I will never allow you back in my world.
But I would like to forgive you someday.
I would like to move on.
I would like to put the pain you brought behind me.
Unfortunately, right now, I cant bring myself to do it.
Its hard to forgive you when the baggage youve left me with is still weighing me down.
Its hard to forgive you when my heart is still damaged from the poison you poured into it.
It feels like I deserve more after everything I endured.
Asorrydoesnt feel like enough, but at the same time, I dont want anything more from you.
I dont want anything to do with you.
I guess an apology is as good as Im going to get.
I guess there is no other way for you to set things right.
