I was terrified that people would judge me for being myself.
Dont even get me started on individual presentations.
My mom divorced my biological father before I was born and then moved us halfway across the country.
Christopher Campbell
Dont get me wrong, I am forever grateful for her strength and decisiveness when leaving a difficult situation.
However, she then engaged in a relationship with my sisters biological father that lasted a disagreeable four years.
Bottling became a service I could provide to those around me to keep the peace.
This became paradoxical in my attempts to keep the peace, I actually created more chaos.
I hardly noticed my emotions changing from sadness or anxiety or anger to irritability.
My friends and my mom began to bear the weight of my pain through my attempts to communicate.
I began cancelling plans last minute.
I started choosing boys over friends to make me feel validated as a beautiful human being.
None of these things strengthened my friendships, and eventually I lost my closest friends.
This just created more problems as my self-worth and self-esteem became nonexistent.
