The fights regularly picked, checking their phone, passive aggressive actions, words unsaid.
But then the relationship crumbles, and in hindsight, its pretty clear what happened.
Or, maybe its not, and you simply hate the bastard.
Daria Shevtsova
But I implore you to consider a different view.
We all have insecurities, especially in relationships.
I mean, how could we not?
Or perhaps your insecurities lie in the times you were bullied at school.
Maybe its deep-rooted beliefs your parents passed down to you.
Heck, Ill go ahead and list out mine.
Basically, theyre all the things we dont fully accept about ourselves and therefore couldnt fathom another person accepting.
All too often, insecurities really mess up relationships.
At first, theyre easy to ignore or at least keep secretly tucked away.
And before you know it, the small arguments youre having are becoming bigger ones.
Wanting to be loved becomes needing to be loved.
But this doesnt have to be the case.
So first, consider what the issues are.
Reflect on where the feelings are coming from.
Do you really think your partner isnt attracted to you?
Or is there something more?
Apply this to any situation where you feel triggered or let down.
Slow down and check in with yourself.
Figure out what the deeper issue is thats going on.
Attempting to fix your insecurities before you fully understand them is only going to make matters worse.
Cultivate some good feelings for yourself.
Most of our insecurities exist because we arent dont even love ourselves.
How can we expect someone to appreciate something about us if we dont even completely believe it?
So start by listing out all the reasons you think youre badass.
Write down all the parts of you that you find beautiful.
Begin a self-care routine.
Give yourself the gifts you want others to give you.
Become your own number one fan.
The more confident you feel about yourself, the more confident youll feel in the relationship.
Then remind yourself that your partner decided to date you.
Out of all the people your significant other knows, they chose to date you.
They didnt pull your name out of a hat and just stuck with you because of circumstances.
Your partner chose you.
And there are reasons why they chose you.
Theres nothing to prove.
Re-establish your independence.
Or maybe you used to be an avid kickboxer before your relationship began.
But over time, you started going less and less.
Now, your gloves have been sitting in the trunk of your car and havent been touched for months.
Nothing instills confidence and banishes insecurities like creating your own life outside of your partner.
Having hobbies and goals separate from your partner is important.
Its what will keep your self-improvement game healthy.
But in the end, trust yourself.
You will be strong.
Because your insecurities may not just be a feeling.
Those emotions could end up being a guide to help you realize that things are off.
Maybe something else really is going on.
But youll never be able to realize whats happening if you dont trust yourself.
Projecting our feelings on to others is a natural human tendency.
But no one is perfect, and your relationship wont be either.
Instead of focusing on whats wrong and what others think, start focusing on what you feel about yourself.
The more secure you are with yourself, the more confident youll be in all aspects of your life.
