By
Updated 7 years ago,December 13, 2017
Ahh, the single life.
Truth be told, I never used to love the single life.
I was a serial monogamous dater, always either talking to someone or dating someone.
Andrew Robles
But over the past three years, something clicked inside my brain that I had never understood before.
I was used to having someone around to comfort me.
To soothe me when life got to be too much.
To hold my hand through the waves of anxiety.
To pick me up when I was falling.
To love me when I couldnt love myself.
Andrew Robles
But I had to love myself.
Starting out was rocky.
I drunk texted people I shouldnt have.
I butt dialed people I shouldnt have.
I was kind of a train wreck to be quite honest.
I had to relearn how to live.
How to be alone.
How to just be and be content with that.
I had to relearn how to sleep without someone else in my bed.
And how to love my own heart without someone else reaching towards it.
I learned that healing is not linear.
That if Im sad one day, it doesnt mean Im failing.
And if Im lonely for a week straight, it doesnt mean it will always feel that way.
I learned how to cope with hard things life threw my way by myself.
I learned that feelings are not the enemy.
And that numbing feelings is.
I learned that being single isnt a death sentence.
That feeling vulnerable and lonely is a part of life and that sadness is not permanent.
I learned that I cant do everything on my own too.
That I did need people around me.
That I needed my family and wonderful friends to fill my life up.
I learned that the void of not having a boyfriend wouldnt always be there.
I learned how to fill myself up in better and bigger ways.
I learned how to sit in a cafe by myself and not be self conscious.
I learned how to make my own food and indulge in my own creations.
I learned how to laugh and smile again.
I learned how to take life less seriously, how to let myself have fun without feeling guilty.
I learned how to kiss lips of strangers and dance on top of tables and city rooftops.
I learned how to go on dates and not be disappointed when they didnt work out.
I learned that life goes on.
I learned that life is beautiful with or without a significant other.
I learned that life is fucking hard.
That I will always have to climb mountains regardless if I have someone loving me or not.
I learned that life should not revolve around someone else.
I learned that loving yourself is much more important than loving another human being.
And I learned to be patient.
To be patient with life and love.
And to trust that when Im ready, itll come my way.
