Ill hit snooze more times than I should before rushing to get myself ready for work.
I will act like today is just another day.
The truth is, it isnt just another day.
Brooke Lark
Its the birthday of someone I thought I was going to know for the rest of my life.
At one time, you were my best friend and my adventure partner.
You knew every imperfection.
You encouraged me to be my best self and you loved me.
I could feel it in the way that you looked at me.
So today, Ill start to text you happy birthday a million times.
No matter how close I get to hitting send, Ill never be able to actually send it.
You used to tell me Id never get away if I tried to leave you.
However, Ive only heard silence since I decided I was worth more than your indecisiveness.
Believe me when I say that I have been through hell trying to get over you.
I have been saving it for your birthday.
It was perfect and flawlessly summed up everything Id want to say.
Ill probably contemplate mailing the card so you knew I remembered.
But again, I dont think Ill be able to fire up the door to you again.
There is no way Ill survive that a second time.
I am sure I will spend the evening wondering who youre having dinner with to celebrate.
Are you with a new girl now?
Someone who you know you want to be with.
Maybe youre having dinner with those friends.
The ones that made me fear for your safety because they could be so reckless.
You would have a go at convince me that they were harmless, but I knew the truth.
The hardest part will be having to remind myself that you are no longer my business.
Youll probably continue to appear in my dreams like youve done the last two years.
Its there that I have any change of actually wishing you a happy birthday.
Its the place where we are able to be what we were always capable of.
