Letting go is trying to hold on to your future and not re-write the past.
But unfortunately, at least for betrayal, letting go just doesnt work like that.
Letting go is not art, it is not beautiful, it is exhausting.
God & Man
It is constantly having to re-direct your thoughts whenever your mind wanders.
It is having to not be consumed by anger, pain and jealousy whenever a film or t.v.
It is feeling his lips pressed to yours and trying to stop picturing him kissing her.
God & Man
It is falling asleep afraid that you will see them both in your dreams.
Trying to just hold your shit together but feeling like you will fall apart.
It is feeling confused between love and hate, anger and calm, forgiveness and a grudge.
It is always feeling just that little bit unsteady.
Letting go is slow, it is hard work.
It is forever battling with your own demons, insecurities and fears.
It is trying to trust him again and not knowing where to start.
It is holding on because youre afraid that if you let go, it will happen again.
It is second-guessing everything, it is worrying that if you forgive, he will forget.
He will think it is okay to hurt you again.
And not being able to.
And you cant, you wont survive.
