Its also one of the most difficult.
Its also one of the most difficult.
so you can be successful, however, it helps to follow a few basic practices.
Alex Iby
Unfortunately, when conflicts arise, many of us are likely to do more harm than good.
We compound the problem by misusing the time apart.
When youre feeling self-righteous indignation, you tend to see your partner as the problem.
It morphs the potential healing power of a timeout into just another hurt, widening the distance between you.
Even if youre in a relationship that is not prone to volatility, youre still vulnerable.
As mammals, weve evolved to be acutely aware of one anothers nonverbal cues.
Alex Iby
These signs communicate disdain, which slowly erodes trust and intimacy.
There are three things to consider before taking a break from conflict.
This means not shutting your partner down prematurely.
Its important to recognize that even if you do this, arguments can still spiral out of control.
Its a fine line.
Navigating relational turmoil solo can stir up a slew of emotions.
For this reason, it is important during a timeout to intentionally cease any negative thoughts about your partner.
For this to succeed, refrain from venting to others, or even to yourself.
Instead, channel your turmoil into something unrelated.
There are two views to every conflict and both are valid.
Timeouts cant last forever.
They play a crucial role in helping you shift into a more centered and open place as a couple.
But they can also backfire.
Anything more than a day can begin to feed negative sentiment.
Dont get stuck on who re-initiates.
In most relationships, there is one partner who pursues more and one who distances more.
And though this dynamic can cause real pain for couples, it is not a measure of love.
Your focus should be on achieving re-connection sooner rather than later.
Cultivate an attitude of no big deal.
They understand that conflict is inevitable, and they trust in their ability to handle their disagreements.
They use I statements instead of you statements.
Love smarter by paying attention to the when, the what, and the how before taking a break.
