Was it because I now had a chronic illness?
Talk about a punch to the gut.
So many of us with Crohns disease and ulcerative colitis are diagnosed prior to finding our person.
At 21-years-old, I immediately felt like my Crohns was a scarlet letter and that I was unlovable.
Despite all the medications I was on, this was the toughest pill to swallow.
But still, there were some bad apples along the way.
He joked that I was making up excuses and just didnt want to see him.
I ended up in the hospital with a serious flare that night.
I recommend talking with the person about your health (in person if possible) by the third date.
It also allows you to be honest and upfront and not feel like youre hiding anything.
Pay close attention to their body language and what they say.
Keep your explanation high level, you dont need to go into all the nitty gritty.
Allow the person to educate themself and ask you questions.
Do not settle or make excuses for your partner.
If you find yourself feeling unsupported or made to feel like a burden, move on to the next.
Our IBD gives us superpowers to see the true characters of others whether its a romantic or platonic relationship.
Use this clarity to your advantage.
If anything, allow your partner to be your voice of reason.
Oftentimes my husband will give me an out and say its ok not to go or to stay home.
This often allows me to feel more at ease if we have to cancel plans or pivot.
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
What you dont share only restricts your partner from being able to help you and support you.
I know it can feel like youre complaining or wanting sympathy, but let them know.
June marks 8 years Ive been married; my husband and I have three kids.
You want someone who realizes you are so much more than your illness.
Your IBD impacts not only you, but them.
Be patient as they navigate the waters, but dont allow yourself to drown in the process.
Trust your gut and follow your intuition.
You are capable of being an incredible partner.
And there is someone out there worthy of all you have to offer.
