That we would want it to go before it could ever think about staying.
Whenever I laid eyes on you for the first time, everything in me shook.
And in so many ways, I was right.
Lisa Fotios
You were everything I never knew I was missing out on.
You seemed to understand me in a way I never thought love was capable of doing.
You saw past my insecurities and my fears and just saw me.
But I can see the way your eyes look now when they glance my way.
Its not hate or aggravation.
Its as if space crept its way between our bodies slowly, but deliberately.
It feels like youve forgotten Im flesh and blood that thrives on warmth and connection.
It feels as if you dont think I can notice the difference now.
I can hear the change in your voice.
How the laughs are softer, more distant now.
How the smiles still show up but arent as wide.
I can sense when youre trying to listen to me, but your mind is somewhere else.
I think you still love me somewhere.
I guess if you didnt, you wouldnt stay.
But the reality is setting into my bones now- not all great loves last.
Not all romances bounce back.
And I could easily do that.
But I dont want a love I have to beg for, even one as incredible as ours.
I know every couple goes through its rough seasons.
I dont give up easily, and I will stick things out to weather any storm.
I believe in doing everything it’s possible for you to to make something last.
Yet I also understand that both people have to want to do those things.
It cant just be one person trying to hold everything together by the seams.
When I finally told you I could feel you drifting, I know you wanted to deny it.
But we both couldnt keep pretending or avoiding the truth.
You told me you love me, and I believe that.
But love isnt always enough.
I dont regret loving you- it was the best choice I ever made.
It wont be something that disappears overnight, and I dont want it to.
I learned more about myself than I couldve ever dreamed.
I realized how much love I have to give to someone.
I learned what it was like to be loved by someone in such a beautiful, memorable way.
It doesnt mean I would ever trade who we were.
Its recognizing that sometimes the best thing is to let a person go before the resentment sets in.
Its hoping that if I keep the memories of us perfect, well never forget them.
I hope, no matter how hard it might be sometimes, that we never want to.
