Male and female masturbation stories for your reading pleasure.
Or, more crudely, jerking off.
I came literally right as the road cleared up.
Im lovin it, am I right?!
I did, and it worked.
Youre welcome, guys of the world!
The toothbrush was a great callif Im keeping it real, I still use one in a pinch.
Thats all I can tell you.
Bailey, 24
6.I was 6, and I was on vacation with my family in Jamaica.
Happened every time I got to that scene.
I definitely panicked…felt like a WWII air raid.
It was unsettlingly awesome.
Jules, 24
8.My first sexual awakening went down while watching Xtinas Dirrty music video when I was 13.
Thought it was basically pornin retrospect, Adam Levines on-screen make out game is just tighter than most.
Back then, though, a good, fully clothed make out scene was all I needed.
Shelly, 21
10.Ive masturbated twice in my life.
The first time I was 8 and in the backseat of my dads car.
He was driving and my grandmother was riding shotgun.
I sat on the heel of my foot, and it felt good.
I continued to rub my heel against my crotch.
I remember my dad looking in the rearview mirror and asking Hillary, are you playing with yourself?
I said no and didnt try masturbating again until college.
Also, naturally, I was sitting in the middle seat.
All of this most likely happened in economy seat 18.
Mastering female masturbation is an art form, really.
Below are some tips from various women on how to tackle solo sex most effectively.
1.Ive been known to fuck a vegetable.
Give me a cucumber or a carrot with the right girth and Im the happiest girl on the planet.
I get wetter and wetter until I cum.
Jasminka, 34
2.Every woman needs to own a detachable shower head.
Theres nothing like the sensation of running water right up against your vagina.
Youll find yourself squirming like a mad woman in no time.
I realized this the first time I went in a jacuzzi and the jet stream turned me on.
Been devoted to long, leisurely orgasm baths ever since.
Eveline, 33
3.Lube is an absolute must.
Youll slip right into the good spots if you rub yourself for long enough.
I learned that I personally need a combination of clitoral stimulation and internal finger fucking.
Now that I know the magic formula, theres an orgasm literally at my fingertips whenever I want it!
Franny, 18
5.Figure-eights around the clitoris do it for me.
I never even bother sticking my fingers inside my vagina because I dont need to.
Clit stim does it for me.
Ill say things like, Yeah, baby.
Bella, 30
7.Im a certified pillow humper.
I swear it can be better to dry hump a pillow than an actual guy sometimes.
OMG its such a useful toolbetter than any vibrator Ive ever used to masturbate.
Its the perfect fake penis.
Lucy Jane, 22
9.Im imaginative, so for me its important to craft the right story.
Ill put on some sexy lingerie and start thinking of a scenario.
I like to get creative and weird because the story gets me hot.
The better the fantasy, the better the orgasm form my experience.
Oh, and if you ever need inspo, watching porn def helps.
Tonya, 23
10.Im big on the sitting position.
The angle I can massage my vagina from when Im seated drives me crazy.
Sally, 35
11.Im a nipple pincher.
Dont underestimate the power of other body parts when youre masturbating.
Then, once Im warmed up a little, I move onto the pink parts.
I attack my nipples and vagina until Im screaming with orgasmic pleasure.
Quinn, 26
12.Once you find the right vibrator, its so easy to get yourself off.
Im partial to small, egg-shaped ones that vibrate on a few different configs.
Ill start out on the soft hum and work my way up to the highest level.
Sometimes I stick the little egg inside my vag and rub my clit and it works like a charm.
You just have to keep your underwear on so it doesnt pop out all the time.
But it can also be the root of some funny mishaps and other hilarious scenarios.
These male masturbation stories will make you laugh out loud.
1.The Diary of Anne Frank.
I mean, I obviously didnt masturbate to all the Holocaust stuff.
She also includes some very detailed descriptions of her body.
For a horny middle-schooler, it was a reasonable thing to fap to.
ZombieChrist
3.Aunt Jemima pancake box.
Am a straight guy.
12-year-old me fapped to the MMMBop music video.
Thought Taylor Hanson was a girl.
Not proud of myself once I found out.
hey0oo
5.The one with the picture of a girl with no legs below the knees and one arm.
BKMurder101
6.The first time I ever ejaculated I was rubbing it on a cat that was in heat.
God, I hated myself so much.
Spillomanen
8.My very first…when I was eighteen.
I literally went to Wikipedia to figure out how guys masturbated.
It was months before I even tried it again.
I mean a couple of them lookedokay.
Mr-Skeltal
10.Fapped in a mosque before prayers.
Not my proudest moment as a Muslim.
LaimMcKenzie
12.The execution of Saddam Hussein.
RabSimpson
13.Once I was spending the night at my grandmas house, and I was zooted out from Xanax.
wanted to fap but decided I also wanted a banana up my ass while doing it.
nothing was ever spoken of it.
Due to watch bill rotations, you stand this watch at all different times of day.
On the really late/really early in the morning watches, I would fap on watch.
I have nutted in the Atlantic Ocean, Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea, Persian Gulf and Indian Ocean.
red_rye
16.This happened some ten years ago.
It was winter so I was wearing a jacket.
I snuck my right hand in leaving the jacket sleeve empty.
At first I was really conscious, making sure nobody noticed.
She shook her head and went back in.
I quietly walked away.
liquidus08
17.I work in a hospital and had to do a sort of self-defense course.
Was worth it.Byrnesy33
19.When I was like 12, I got caught by my dad on a camping trip.
We were sharing a tent.
Thats the worst one.
When I was a tween I was addicted to whacking it.
Id be constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to sneak one off.
12 was a weird time.
Im old (57).
So back in the 70s there was no easy access to porn.
I shoulder surfed him one day and proudly rattled off what the combo was.
He freaked out like I never saw him freak before.
Held me down and made me swear I had never been in that safe before.
Well, I hadnt so I didnt lie and told him I didnt.
Well, of course the 14-year-old me was curious and it drove me nuts wondering what was in there.
My God was she fucking hot.
And me having never seen a naked chick before, my dick went into full on nuclear meltdown mode.
So I jacked it to her again, and again, and again.
And I knew it was wrong.
But to this day I still feel a horrible guilt and feel fucked up about it.
SomewhatAnon
21.Got a vasectomy about 6 months ago.
Finally time to get tested to see if I was shooting blanks or not.
I called around to several labs, none answered.
Lady says they can do the test, and says do you have your sample for the test.
I did not, since I wasnt sure if they could do the test or not.
So I said, no I will come back with it.
I decide to go back home.
So I get home and my wife asks why Im home, and I tell her.
The kids were being especially bad that day.
Could barely get it done but somehow I did.
Didnt enjoy it at all.
twobadkidsin412
22.My ex was hot, her mom was hotter, and wore skimpier swimsuits.
Girlfriend caught me scoping her moms thong-clad backside while ineffectually hiding a boner.
Argument ensued, smoothed things over, then went to bathroom to knock one out.
Teenage me was ashamed, 40-year-old me gets it.
pretty much fapped everywhere.
caphello
24.I was 11, first fap ever.
Thought farting would be a turn-on.
AwesomeDiamond
25.Against the handle of a vibrating lawn mower, while I was actively mowing the lawn.
I was about 13 and came in my pants.
fascinatedone
26.I live in the inner city and as I was fapping, a gun fight broke out.
the_kid_from_limbo
28.I paid a girl to record herself talking shit about me.
I gave her a list of my insecurities and everything.
Damn its painful to watch at any ordinary time but when Im horny, its such a turn on.
Deadlycalculator
29.I was about 13yo and got the brilliant idea of quick fap while I was in the bathroom.
This was before smartphones so I had to go old school and imagine stuff in my head.
freakinGurka
31.I fapped to Kari Byron crying while being subjected to Chinese water torture onMythbusters.
TheVegetaMonologues
32.Sigh…It was at a music festival which took place in the woods.
The next 3-4 hours or so I cant recall at all.
Around me, a group of people were laughing and pointing at me.
That was the last time I took ecstasy.
PM_ME_SHACO_RULE_34
34.I was going through old family videos when I was about 16.
It was mainly just videos of my brother and I being idiots when we were young kids.
Well, one of the tapes was cut short by another recording.
It turned out my parents decided to make a sex tape.
Instead of turning it off and forgetting it ever happened, I de-clothed and had a great wank.
I then put the videos back in the TV cabinet and never thought about it again.
I just played along and acted like that was the most awkward part of the story.
FluffyDoDo
35.In my church on the second-floor balcony during a 10 am Sunday service.
Chrollo
36.I have beat it everywhere you could imagine except on space or on a boat.
I have beat it on plane, train, and automobile.
Ive beat it in a carpet cleaning van, and in a jail cell.
Ive beat it in a hospital.
It was 2 AM and I was horny as can be and the night was warm.
So I upped and went into the backyard and lo and behold I found a semi-rotten cantaloupe.
Pushed some fingers into the melon then roused it with my Richard.
Didnt seem too shaming.
YodasHutOnDagobah
37.I was about 14 and in my crushs room.
I splooged into my other hand and didnt know what to do with it.
So, I scraped my hand onto the inside edge of her fish tank.
The fish ate it up and she walked back in.
graveyboat2276
38.This is a risky one…
Went to the schools bathroom, locked myself in a toilet room, came and went back to class.
I was just so damn bored that I did it almost unconsciously.
But yeah, they all knew.
IceBlack88
39.I got into hospital because of an epileptic seizure.
I was there for a week.
I was the only person in the room, and I had my own shower.
I couldnt do anything for day 5.
My girlfriend visited me every time, and I asked her to flash her boobs to me.
That night I went to the shower and I fapped.
I was so ashamed after I came.
It was absolutely horrible.
Hunthrowaway
40.The 2004 Olympics, I fapped to the female 100-meter sprint.
Lewi25
41.Probably fapping to pictures of my fiancee in the shower in jail.
I mean it was just sad.
I was the one in jail in the shower.
SoggyNach0s
42.I have had many, but my most guilty was me imagining strangling my neighbor.
Not because she was hot but because she like kept beating my dick.
A_wild_penis_puncher
43.When I first learned about fapping I heard it called beating off.
So I would actually beat it.
Hold the base in one hand and then basically slap it back and forth with the other.
Just fucking hit my dick over and over.
Did that a few times and then one day it was sore so I was rubbing it.
Hot damn that felt way better.
Fuck Im a genius.
So those first three or four are my least proud.
It was just weirdly uncomfortable, like she was scrutinizing my every movement.
I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to do?
Nevertheless, Id rate it 3/10 personally, wouldnt do again.
I like old, leathery blondes, but this…this was too much.
so being a 13-year-old, getting these weird feelings were very hard to understand.
TLDR: Innocent Christian boy jerks off to the Bible.
gives-out-hugs
51.I jerk myself off to completion while wearing a pair of white womens panties.
So yea not my proudest moment.
Justsadfappingday
52.Fapping while smelling my aunts wet G-string.
dankmasterflash
43.My sister….Dont judge me!
She has really nice boobs.
jackwhite6
54.I masturbated to Ivanka Trump once.
She was in a really tight dress and I didnt know that it was her.
fruitclup
55.I was very sick.
Just discovered how to milk my penis.
Was violently vomiting and mother was sleeping in the same room to keep her eye on me.
However this would not stop me from my mission.
My lettuce WAS going to be spanked that night, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I scanned the room for a quick moment.
Her eyes were closed.
My absolute solitude was confirmed.
The pumping begins, but shortly I have a better idea.
My stuffed Scooby Doo would feel much better, BUT ALAS!!!!
Scooby Doo was in the clutches of my sleeping mother.
This would not stop me.
I spent about 3 minutes standing over my sleeping parent with a raging boner to get my fuck doll.
Coating Scoobys tail region in sticky goo.
Then the doorbell rings.
to which, of course my family said sure.
I still have that image of her in the doorframe etched permanently into my mind.
I guess mostly proud that I could improvise a DIY fuck-doll on the spot.
Intrigued, I did some research and actually ended up finding the patent for the equipment.
After reading through the patent, I was ready to venture to make a similar gadget myself.
After testing it out, it actually worked to some extent.
But for some reason I didnt stop there.
But for some reason I didnt stop there.
Also, for some reason I didnt stop there.
I modified the trigger circuit using a potentiometer for precise speed control.
I also purchased a muscle stimulator and tested it out for use on my nipples.
While this all was happening I was also high off of 2 joints and 2 hits of acid.
Im on the fence on the experience, tilting between proud and disgusted.
also has done the same thing.
One day looking for more soap, I strike gold.
A pretty realistic pair of tits made of silicone, with nipples and all.
I do not know.
So I fuck them.
(I remember them as being in one piece, I guess I folded them around my dick.)
Then Id create 10 or so varying enemies to suit the theme.
These could be anything from vampires to tentacle monsters etc.
Finally, I created a female character for me to play as.
Haha
On the bright side two of my ex-girlfriends enjoyed the games.
Onyxdime
60.I jacked it to the Chyna porno on the day she died.
I told my girlfriend and she mocks me mercilessly for it.
birdslice
61.My mother caught me.
My mother had aGlamourmagazine.
I started leafing through it… I_am_oneiros
62.One time when I was 13 my stepmom and dad got drunk.
When it was time for bed my stepmum decided to collapse on top of me on my bed.
Noodlesyes
64.I jerked it to a KFC toy of Halle Berry from X2.This one.
FireTigerThrowdown
65.Was watching a 3-way porno.
guy started sucking other guys dick.
Went home and gave my meat a good ol beat while smelling her sweet-scented jacket.
cheese2x
67.I was fifteen and on an international flight.
Headown998
69.Fapped with my Moms underwear multiple times.
Not proud of that one.
I had my mic muted, but I still cant believe I did that.
Moonkeyman120
71.Let me tell you about a dirty little novel calledNational Geographic.
Somehow my mother ended up with my grandmothers old Electrolux canister vacuum.
It gave the most incredible blow job ever.
I have no shame, and tell the story of my love affair with the Electrolux quite often.
I proceeded to tell them the story of how I loved fucking grandmas Electrolux when I was a teenager.
frenchtoastwizard
74.Drove 22 hours to go to a concert with some friends (Foo Fighters).
My friends were all straight-edge; no drugs, no cigs, no alcohol.
So heres the thing.
Meth makes you orgasm in ways you shouldnt.
It makes flail and flop like a fish.
After 20 hours on the road, we stop at a small gas station.
I sneak into the bathroom with my pipe and smoke hit after fatty hit until my dome is tingling.
Okay, now Im ready.
Its 2000-something and smart phones dont exist yet.
So how do I fap?
I go out of the bathroom and go to the counter and buy a copy of Hustler and Penthouse.
Oh shit, my buddies are in the car outside waiting for me!
So what do I do?
So I go in the bathroom and get to it.
Its a good issue of Hustler.
You know the Beaver Hunt section?
If you dont know, Beaver Hunt is basically what we had before/r/GoneWildbecame a thing.
Anyway, it takes a while to cum when youre on meth.
I wasnt keeping track of time.
But I jerked for a looooong time, and Im out of breath, drenched in sweat and exhausted.
And I finally cum.
It seriously kept coming.
Meth does that to you.
Makes you pump like the god damn Deepwater Horizon underwater footage.
It smells like meth and semen.
And Im soaked in sweat.
And Im still breathing heavy.
And Im carrying nudie mags.
Why didnt I throw them away?
Because they cost me, like, $15.
I go out to the car and my friends all look at me.
They know what I did.
Well, they know I jerked off.
But they dont know about the meth.
I still have those porno mags too.
I dont know why.
I cant bring myself to throw away the ladies who took care of me for so many years.
Or the dirty whores who got me off in that gas station bathroom.
I threw it out that day.
TheCerealKillar
76.Wow, I have so many that its hard to choose one.
I guess the least proud would be around age 13.
I was in a private boarding school and slept in a dorm for 6 with three bunk beds.
The other four roommates looked on in astonishment while I wanked and came in less than three minutes.
so I started thinking about the fact that we had recently had sex and I could be infected too.
then I started thinking about sex in general.
because my gf might have syphilis.
Prince_Edward_IV
78.In the hospital bathroom surrounded by family as my grandfather was on his death bed.
postALEXpress
79.I worked at a hotel over the summer in a busy tourist town.
There was an empty room overlooking the hot tub and I was on a 30 minute break.
Because I told her.
Least Proud/Most Proud moment.
Not proud of this one.
WeakStreamZ
83.Young and horny on a snorkel trip.
Had the urge so I took a big breath and dove down.
Wedged myself underneath a rock to do the deed while I thought about all of the bikinis topside.
On second thought this is both my most and my least proud fap.
inantbh
84.A girl near my school got bullied for a porn video she did for casting couch.
I found the video and it was so hot.
Guilty as hell fap :( djpapamidnite
85.Cousins wife fucked over my credit, hated her guts.
I remembered a while back I accidentally saw her big bouncy juicy bewbs by accident.
It really was an accident but she did that AHHHH!!!
Went into the deep recesses of my mind and forced a temporary photographic memory retrieval.
It was fueled by anger.
I fapped hard and splooged super hard.
Felt bad later when I forgave her lol.
I kinda pretended I was her victim.
WhimsicalTastes
87.Thinking about a dead ex.
Someone walked in and I tried to make it look like I wasnt doing anything.
No idea if anyone found out or they did and never said anything about it.
Now I have a Fleshlight.
IAmTheNight2014
89.Actual least proud fap.
I was at a sandbar when I was 14 or something.
Found this little pond in the back.
Took off my shorts and fucked the wet sand.
TheGuyWhoLikesThings
90.Hand-drawn crappy picture I hid under my bed.
My artistic skills were…not good.
I drew these different shitty characters with different breast types.
They had names based on their breast types.
One was named Gap.
One day I couldnt find the picture under my bed.
I still shudder to think if my parents found it and what their thoughts were.
50Centrifuge
91.On an airplane.
Not in the bathroom.
After everyone had boarded and we were still at the gate.
No I was not the only person in my row of seats.
fonzie90tx
92.I was driving to work one day and decided to fap.
no one ever noticed it (or at least no one ever mentioned it if they saw anything).
I would do this like every lunch time for 6 months.
I cried in shame as I threw it in the trash afterwards.
I was taken to the hospital and my balls were literally swollen to the size of a watermelon.
Heres the other thing Im gonna throw out there.
LightningEdge756
98.I was 13, and working in Ft. Wayne, IN for my neighbor installing church pews.
We were far from home, so the church had us stay in the convent while we were there.
The nun loaned me some movies to watch while I rested after work each day.
One of the wasThat Thing You Dowith Liv Tyler.
Turns out 13-year-old me had a crush on Liv Tyler.
God save me for what I did in a nuns bathroom.
Got away with it, totally worth going to hell for.
1.A chance encounter with a high-power pool jet.
rautx15
2.Had been annoyed and horny throughout school and life because I thought only GUYS could masturbate.
Started feeling around and something felt…good??
Then, I came, and now Im a sexual deviant who whores around.
Not really but I was very happy to find that girls could masturbate.
bears_bee
3.The family hand-held back massager!
Would tell my family I was going to massage my stomach, it helps with the constipation.
I thought they didnt know what I was actually doing (not like that excuse was any better!?
), but Im sure the loud buzzing coming from my room was a dead giveaway.
dolphinhunter
4.I am female.
My very conservative mom told me, you better not be masturbating in there, its a sin.
I had never heard the word before so I asked her what it meant.
Touching yourself for pleasure, she said.
I thought it sounded interesting so I tried it.
Sorry mom :p nunlife
5.I wouldve been 9 or 10 (Im a girl).
I was sitting in class nervous about a test I was taking.
I kept fidgeting and squirming in my seat.
I crossed my legs at some point and my jeans rode up into my crotch.
When I shifted I felt this twinge that felt nice.
So I sat there, rocking back and forth.
Suddenly I didnt feel nervous anymore, and finished my test.
I found out the next year what I was doing and was mortified I masturbated in class.
IHATEALLTHEPEOPLE
7.Chillin on the top of the washing machine.
I think I found out guys could do it via media, but I didnt know girls could forever.
Eventually Eventually I just decided Id stick my fingers up my lady hole one day.
Then I found the clit and WOOOOOOOOOWWWWW.
Kill_the_worms
9.Not sure if it was the first time but it came so naturally to me.
I was like 4 or 5 years old.
My family was watching a movie on the TV.
I crossed my legs really hard and started clenching.
Eventually I was doing this a lot.
Any barstools I found.
Crossing my legs really hard and sometimes swinging.
Wasnt until way later that I realized it was just masturbation.
Ivy_233
10.When I was little, like 7 or 8, I had a shit ton of stuffed animals.
God, I need to get laid soon.
Wonderland_weirdo
12.Back then, I was living in Bangladesh.
I had tried masturbating before but with no success as I never knew how to do it.
That particular day I was visiting a relative.
They were a whole family and I was very close friend with their son.
There was a scene in that movie, with Mary Carey, simulating a masturbation on a fountain.
The scene was too much for me, the scene was fresh in my memory while going to bed.
The memory kept forcing me to keep rubbing down there.
I kept rubbing and then ended up having the most euphoric feeling in my life.
tortugastation
14.I was 5.
I was taking a bath in grandmas whirlpool jet tub as we were visiting.
Lifted my legs up and draped them over the rim.
Spread them apart a little and slid down into a comfortable position.
Heavy jet stream of bubbly water RIGHT in the clitoris.
Tension and feelings built up SO fast I thought I was going to explode, it felt so good.
Just as I couldnt take it anymore, I removed my legs from the side of the tub.
I orgasmed, but it wasnt a very good one.
Child me thought it was the shit.
I was reading a book my mom had bought about sex ed for the Christian mom to her daughter.
It talked about some pretty steamy stuff.
That was my go-to fuel until I found the internet.
ShakespearesSpear
15.I used to call it tickle.
I think I was 8 or 9 (female).
We had two couches.
One night when I was around 11, I started tugging on the front of my underwear.
It actually scared me for a few minutes because I didnt know what had happened.
Then it dawned on me that I had an orgasm.
Mother: DONT TOUCH YOURSELF DOWN THERE.
Me: Well I wonder why she doesnt want me to touch myself down there.
oohshesabrick
19.One day at the pool I was just hanging out next to the wall.
I could feel the jet and I thought, I wonder how that would feel on my privates.
Well it felt great!
I found out what an orgasm was a few years later.
I had my first orgasm at 12 in a public pool.
dasAbenteurin
20.When I first got my period.
My caregiver told me it would last for a week.
My entire life transformed itself.
I got ridiculously crazy raging horny, because a low libido BF completely stopped fucking me.
I thought I was going to explode.
I always thought using a dildo is icky.
I have zero ideas why I had this preconceived notion.
I would hide and masturbate with a steel muddler.
He eventually got me awand, which was awful because it desensitizes me.
Will be getting a butt plug and kegel balls soon….
Being horny fucking sucks.
So Im from a superconservativeIndian family where no one talks about anything.
I didnt orgasm or anything back then but I just liked to do it when I was idle.
I think I just enjoyed moving my finger in the wetness.
I didnt think much of it ever.
Thats when I realized it was wrong.
(Looking back, Im so mortified.
I have no idea if other students noticed or would have known…maybe.)
But I enjoyed it and didnt stop.
Just learned to do it when no one was around.
Now I just think I liked the trill of doing something wrong.
Well, until one day, I woke up with blood all over my underwear.
It must be god punishing me for my wrongdoings.
Eventually, I gave in and told my mom about the bleeding.
And thats how I learned about periods.
It was frustrating
Then I tried tickling myself with an electric toothbrush once.
I knew what an orgasm was, but couldnt be sure if Id had one.
So I went and Googled it on my mothers laptop.
I cant remember the exact age, but def younger than 10.
So I stuffed my baby brothers baby blanket in my underwear and dry-humped it in my seat.
I remember getting off from that and my mother being like WHY.
Just kill me c’mon.
whiskeyd3vil
25.Waking up from sleeping on my stomach on a waterbed.
Something rubbed something and I came.
Then it happened in the shower.
I am now multi-orgasmic and I cum several times a day.
Texastexastexas1
26.Im a girl and I was about 6 or even younger.
I didnt continue using the car thingy to do it tho.
I also used the stair railing in our house.
pauliaomi
27.Cant remember the exact moment, but I had some build up to it.
I remember that feeling good.
I also remember my first orgasm.
I was watchingMasters of Sexin high school and they mentioned that a woman would know when she orgasmed.
I decided to use the back end of my electric toothbrush and just kept going until I actually orgasmed.
It felt incredible and I masturbated like every other night until I got to college.
These stories will turn you on, or make you nostalgic for your own first experiences with self-pleasure.
1.Found a belly-dancing video that gave me an erection.
Just started touching it andvoila, discovery.
I had the misfortune of catching someone else discovering themselves once.
Smack dab in the middle was a preteen sitting on top with her head thrown back.
Just grabbed my kids and noped right out of there.
CaptainNog
2.When I was 12/13, I was lying in bed with a boner.
Started humping my sheets and found I could not stop.
SethRogen-Not
3.I got locked in a closet by some abusive babysitters.
I realized the contrast felt good and I started rubbing it to feel even better.
I eventually orgasmed but I was way too young to release anything.
I responded, Wow.
Grandpas weenie must be hard all the time.
NucularRobit
5.I was 12 years old.
My parents had left me alone on a Saturday afternoon.
I had been looking atPlayboys and whatnot for a few years.
Those, and my parentsJoy Of Sexbooks from the 70s that they kept in their library.
But up until that point, I would pretty much just look at the pictures and get boners.
Be all hot and bothered.
But no release, because I didnt know what a release was.
You know the kindyou waited for minutes to see a blurry image of a boob.
And I started yanking it.
Not sure why I was doing it.
It just felt good.
A spur of the moment kind of a thing.
And the damn thing went off.
Didnt know what had happened to me.
There was a mess everywhere.
It kind of looked like a magician pulling out endless handkerchiefs from his pocket.
Tried it myself in the privacy of my bedroom, and basically never stopped.
Went home to try it, havent stopped since.
Figured out I could get the same stim from my hands.
I went home and tried doing that.
Figured that was a good a time as any to put my knowledge to use.
Honorable mention goes to Megan Fox for that funny feeling in my pants.
Hungry_Lion
12.Nurse pulled back my foreskin during an exam and I liked it.
AsshatVik
13.I first discovered masturbation climbing on a high stool at McDonalds, I think.
I was…10?
I dunno, right around puberty age.
Sure thing, it felt good again.
But now I knew this was a thing I could do.
My arms would start to get tired, which is when it started to feel good.
Then it would happen, and Id see how long after I could keep holding on.
That was about when the internet started picking up (Im 31 now, so this was… 1996?
), so I started trying to research it, and I learned about normal masturbation.
I tried that and never went back, for obvious reasons.
I will say, though, I kinda wish Id never discovered the right way.
My arms were ripped in late middle school.
Id probably be in much better shape now.
What the fuckwasI doing?
Why did it work like that?
Does that work for anyone, or am I weird?
To be clear, Im a guy.
I dont know if I can still do it.
Persiat
14.My family and another went to the lake together.
Later that night I was thinking about it and I got hard.
Man was I inexperienced.
Absolute_Anal
15.I was homeschooled in just 5th grade.
My mom had to work and my work was on the computer.
So I usually was done by noon.
And I got bored and looked up sex.
Lord_Lebanon
16.Climbing up the pole on a jungle gym.
Im a man by the way.
I never climbed the fastest but I got off the fastest.
Id had no idea what was going on.
We had some really dangerous jungle gyms back in the day.
I turned it on, and to my surprise it vibrated powerfully.
I put it on my feet, my chest and then my head.
I was discovering A Whole New World.
Nothing like Id ever felt before.
I kept it on until I climaxed and what came out look like clear pee.
Many years later, I realized that she probably (definitely) masturbated with it too.
Either way, thanks for not freaking about about it, Mom!
Novasex
19.When we were 8, 9 we discussed it in school, maybe some older guy told us.
Then we tried it.
It was strange I remember we would share one porn mag.
We discussed our experiences and even jerk off together once or twice.
It never got completely gay though just a bunch of preteens jerking off.
My hand went down my pants and it just…sort of…happened.
She took off her jacket and then her shirt until she only had a bra left.
Got a boner and rubbed it on the ground until I could feel the peak.
It felt so good.
meahoymemoyay
23.I knew what sex was, because we were shown in second grade an educational tape about sex.
Few years later I accidentally watched porn.
When I was eight I decided it would be great to hump my bed and pretend I do sex.
I almost reached orgasm, but was too scared.
It was too intense for me, I was just a child.
My dick was just for peeing, not for getting this sweet, mother of all pleasures.
That was an opening of a Pandoras box, because not too long after I reached orgasm.
I spent so many hours showering as a child and developed a weird masturbation technique on the shower floor.
Then my mother got a back massager.
We all know no one uses it to massage their backs.
I used it to masturbate.
The amazing sensation of it vibrating my little balls.
I better order me a back massager.
Its been a while.
a_rake_
24.When I was reading in my room alone one night, I got a boner.
Wasnt my first, but the first time I was alone and everybody else in the house was asleep.
I grabbed it with one hand, and my firm grip felt intense.
I didnt know I was experiencing sexual frustration at the time, nor how to relieve it.
I squeezed it harder, but my body still wanted more.
I pull my shaft out of my pants, and its throbbing now.
I use my other hand, and I feel the smooth tip.
I dont stop rubbing, as my cum runs down my shaft and pools up on my abdomen.
I uncurl my toes, and inspect the mess in my hands.
My dick, twitching uncontrollably, slowly squeezing more jizz from my meatus.
I have no idea what this is, or what Ive done, but fuck did that feel incredible.
7 year old me thought does that really hurt?
So i did it… Popped one for whatever reason.
The rest is history and you all know something my mother does not, enjoy.
Never spoke of it again.
Saw giant foot long cocks of gargantuan size destroying women.
This prompted me to look up more stuff andvoila…found out how to wank.
lefondler
27.It was fall, 1984.
I was watching television on Friday night,The Dukes of Hazzard,when Daisy appeared on the screen.
There was a certain bounce when she stepped that I had failed to recognize previously, in my prepubescence.
My Fall Guy Underoos tightened as I sprung my first full-fledged boner.
I went to the bathroom to assess the situation.
I tried everything to get my rod to go down.
I hung a towel on it, I tried shoving back in my pants.
I smacked it and it just wiggled back and forth like on of those spring door stoppers.
Sensing some pain on my shaft I began to gently rub it.
It didnt make it go down but oh man did it feel good.
I spanked that monkey like it had stole my lunch money.
And thats how I discovered masturbation.
3fingerbrad
Featured photo byOnaArtist.com.
