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Updated 8 years ago,October 23, 2017
You are beautiful,he says.
Because all my life Ive been conditioned to see this as the highest of compliments.
I am not a cynic.
Amanda Carlson
I know that the words are meant as a compliment, to raise me up, to praise me.
But I cant help but wonder why being beautiful has become such a goal we strive for.
I cant help but wonder about all the things Id rather be.
Maybe I dont want to be beautiful.
Maybe, when youlook at me, Id rather you see my strength first, tangible, powerful.
Maybe instead of being beautiful, Id rather be bold.
Amanda Carlson
Id rather be brave.
Id rather be kind or fearless or intelligent or passionate or complex.
Maybe Id rather be a woman that simply cannot be chalked up to the physical aspects.
A woman who cannot be held back by what you could see because theres so much more.
Maybe I want to be a force, a presence.
Maybe I want to be an entityimmeasurable and forever changing.
Maybe I want to be a being you craveknowingrather than holding.
Exploring rather than defining.
Opening rather than closing.
Maybe I want to be multidimensional.
Maybe I am, and forever will be, more than thisbodythat I dwell in here on earth.
Maybe when you call me beautiful, youre following the focus of this world.
Youre unconsciously shallowing myworth.
That we must be in pursuit of physical attractiveness before anything else.
And honestly, I could care less about that.
And I will attempt to see the truth in that.
That perhaps I dont want to be beautiful; I want to be more.
