The feminine holds the desire, is the what, and can sometimes feels invisible.
We got our drinks and were waiting for a table to clear where we could sit and talk.
He came back out to clean off the table for us to sit and talk.
Kinga Cichewicz
After our coffee banter, we walked across the street to the book store.
I had wanted a magazine and he needed a book for his book club.
The magazine I wanted was an odd one.
The kind you’ve got the option to only find in a store with an extensive magazine display.
Ive had a hard time finding it in the past but eventually, I always do.
I tell him this.
We were able to find a teen version of this mindfulness magazine but not the edition I wanted.
My man-friend did not stop looking.
He started an investigative hunt to find this magazine calculating where it could be.
I hear and sure enough, hed tracked it down.
It was underneath a bunch of other magazines.
He actually found me two copies and I ended up buying both.
My friend gets an A+ for having absolutely exquisite attention.
See, the feminine is always sensing out.
Are you really here?
If I let go, will you know what to do with me?
If I open, will I be well received?
Men, your exquisite attention is what has us open.
Its what has us feel safe.
Its what has us trust you and want to share our desires with you.
Its what has want to come out and let you feel us.
I can tell hes done a lot of self-work.
Were in an extremely attention-starved age.
Pulled in so many directions and being asked so much of.
Especially in 2020, our brains are at capacity for decision making.
Your focused, present attention is a commodity.
It is quite literally what you have to offer people.
Men, your attention makes you irresistible.
The feminine holds the desire, is thewhat, and can sometimes feels invisible.
The masculine likes to effort through, the feminine likes tofeelthrough.
Sometimes the masculine gets frustrated and cant understand.
The feminine experience is what, what cant you see?
It seems so obvious to us, our lived experience.
Men, go slower than you think is necessary.
Patience will be your superpower.
My friend with the magazines.
There were probably 100 other mindfulness and lifestyle magazines at the book store that afternoon.
Another note: feminine desire is very exacting.
Often substitutes wont do.
I like this magazine for a few specific reasons.
The content is probably very similar to another mindfulness magazine but for me, this one feels good.
I like the matte cover.
I like the graphics.
I like thefeeling tonesof the pages and whats inside.
For me, this magazine is an expression of my own feminine nature and essence.
This is where my friend won.
He didnt shame my desire for this very particular magazine.
He didnt tell me to just pick something else out.
He didnt say, Oh well, doesnt look like its here.
He instead went on a hunt to find it.
Like it was his most important task of the afternoon.
He was patient, was willing to look under the stacks of other issues.
Was willing to trace a path and gather clues.
He was willing to slow down and widen his attention, ultimately, to fulfill my desire.
When I sense my client is on an up I follow their lead.
Taking them abruptly in an opposite direction to where theyre at would be jarring for their system.
Previously, I never knew or understood what was going on inside of me.
I was so deeply disconnected from my own femininity that it made relationships really challenging.
I first had to test though.
I tell my clients: the first few weeks of getting to know someone are crucial.
Its good practice to throw out some tests to see how they react.
The feminine likes to test.
She is sensing, she is vigilant.
A lot of this is simple biology.
I paid close attention to the cadence of my conversations with this new partner.
Was he a consistent communicator or did he leave me hanging after I said something and opened up?
Men, were paying attention to all your little moves.
My friend wiped up apple juice and it made an impact.
We are all about these small things, they matter to us.
These small gestures are the building blocks to winning with us.
