The eight red flags of the narcissistic mother.
A mother often serves as the foundation of someones first attachment to the world.
As infants, children learn by their mothers example how to bond with others.
Ron Lach
Rather than affection,children of narcissistic parentsare exposed to unhealthy enmeshment, chronic rage, and egregious boundary-breaking.
If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience.
She shames her children for not accomplishing enough academically, socially, professionally, and personally.
She shames her children for acting with any sense of agency because it threatenshersense of control and power.
She sets up damaging comparisons among her children as well as their peers.
She stirs up competition, drama, and chaos.
She treats her children as extensions of her rather than as autonomous human beings.
She competes with her children, especially her daughters, and ushers them into premature adulthood.
It is common for narcissistic mothers to compete with their children, especially their own daughters.
The narcissistic mother is likely to overvalue her own looks and sexual prowess.
Female narcissists exhibit internalized misogyny and often view other females as competition.
As a result, she may devalue her daughters appearance, criticize her body, and shame her.
On the other hand, some narcissistic mothers will objectify their daughters and demand physical perfection.
She may fail to provide her daughters with the proper education concerning sex and their growing bodies.
An obsession with the external, at the expense of her childs needs.
To the narcissistic mother, appearances are everything.
She enjoys the social status of being a mother without doing the actual maternal work.
She shows off her children without properly tending to their basic emotional and psychological needs.
To her, how things look is far more important than how they actuallyare.
She may even be callous and cold to the point where she refuses to touch her children altogether.
Engages in horrific boundary-breaking.
She makes her children the center of the world and responsible for fulfillingheremotional needs.
She violates her childrens basic needs for privacy and autonomy, demanding to know every facet of their lives.
Becomes enraged at any perceived threat to her superiority.
As a result, her emotions tend to be a psychological rollercoaster from start to finish.
Her children walk on eggshells every day, fearful of encountering their mothers rage and punishment.
Emotionally invalidates, guilt-trips and gaslights her children.
A childs reactions to her narcissistic mothers abuse are frequently met with invalidation, shaming and further gaslighting.
The narcissistic mother lacks empathy for the feelings of her children and fails to consider their basic needs.
A narcissistic mother is prone to telling her children that the abuse never occurred.
She redirects the focus to her needs and guilt-trips her children at every sign of perceived disobedience.
She provokes her children and is sadistically pleased when her put-downs and insults have staying power.
